| By Laura Graham Booth | July 6, 2009 |
Stress. Our lives are full of it, and thanks to the internet and so-called “smart” phones, it’s almost impossible to escape it, even on vacation.
I’ve been thinking about stress quite a bit lately, and how to combat it. We’re in the middle of a home renovation: gutting the kitchen and two bathrooms. If you’ve gone through any home improvement projects, you know how stressful they are. We are now in our third week with only one functioning sink in the whole house, and washing dishes in the bathroom is getting pretty old.
Reading has always been one of my favorite escapes, as I’m sure it is for many of the readers of this blog. But I have to confess that lately there have been times when my poor brain has been so overloaded, I can’t even focus on a book. A mystery subplot or a large cast of characters is enough to derail my train of thought. I can’t blame the book as these are often new releases from authors I adore.
So I’m curious… how do *you* handle stress?
My husband is a runner. He’s run several marathons (including Boston). Running is one of his favorite ways to blow off steam. During one particularly stressful job, he went for a run during his lunch hour almost every day. Me, I’m not much of a runner. (And by “not much,” I mean, “not unless someone wearing a hockey mask and brandishing a carving knife is chasing me while spooky music plays in the background.”)
I used to practice yoga regularly, but in the past couple of years, I’ve gotten out of the habit. Writing this post reminds me that I should make yoga a priority. (Not only is it good for stress, it’s also wonderful if you suffer from neck/back pain as a result of too many hours in front of the computer.)
I discovered my current favorite stress-reliever last fall. I was inspired by a friend to learn how to knit. Knitting turned out to be perfect for dealing with one of the most frequent sources of stress in my life: Waiting. Waiting in line. Waiting at a doctor’s office. Waiting at red lights, in traffic, at soccer practice, in the car pool lane. Waiting for someone to call back with good (or bad) news. Knitting is portable (particularly if you knit socks!), so I almost always have something along with me if I find myself stuck waiting somewhere.
And it’s definitely helping with the home remodel. I cast on for a sweater the day they ripped out my kitchen. I’m halfway done now. It’ll definitely be done before the weather is cool enough to wear it!
So how do you cope? Please share; I need to be prepared if I run out of yarn! 
Edited to add: I hope all my American friends had a fun and safe 4th of July. In the interest of commemorating the holiday, I’d like to share a patriotic YouTube video:
July 6th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Laura, wonderful blog! Knitting is actually stressful for me (I know, I know) so I read your post with interest. My fastest way to de-stress is to meditate, which often looks like me taking a nap in the middle of the day
. Walking can help — once I make up my mind to take the time to do it — especially walking outdoors in a natural setting. But the quickest fix for me is the sound of water outdoors — a fountain, the ocean, a babbling brook, a waterfall. I dream of being able to install a large outdoor fountain in my back yard, but even the thought of it puts me into near euphoria.
Ahhhhh… See, I’m even relaxing just thinking about it! Good luck with your renovation and I hope it is finished soon!
Jenn
July 6th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Hi, Jenn!
I love water, too. I’m very lucky– I live on a peninsula, so there’s water in almost every direction. We used to have a sailboat, but that was another source of stress!
Knitting’s not for everyone. I can’t crochet, so I’d find that pretty stressful, but my mom loves it. But she can’t knit. Go figure!
July 6th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Love your socks, Laura! I don’t knit, but I sew and spent a decade making complicated, multi-layered, ruffled Daisy Kingdom dresses for my girls. It wasn’t too relaxing, but I loved the creative challenge. As for what helps me wind down…driving. Alone. Sometimes with the radio on. Sometimes not. Perhaps it’s the gentle motion or soothing hum. Oddly enough I find driving also stirs my creativity, and some of my best brainstorming occurs behind the wheel. Peace…
July 6th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Oh, Laura! I feel your pain! I used to do long, INTENSE workouts to deal with stress, but since I’ve been a mom (who works from home a great deal of the time, trying to tend to my students’ needs and my son’s at the same time), I can’t seem to find an hour+ 6 days a week.
My solution? Tone it down. I’ve had to teach myself that a 20-minute workout DOES count. (I recommend Jillian Michaels’ 30-day Shred for those wanting a short but intense workout they can do at home.) It also makes me feel better the whole day.
I’m like you, Laura! I love using reading as an escape, but when I’m too stressed, I can’t even focus on words from my favorite authors.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:49 am
Hi Laura!
Great post! My number one favorite way of relieving stress is to sleep. Unfortunately, there is not always a bed handy;) So, walking or marching in place can help.
But also writing a nasty letter to whoever or what ever has stressed me. I pour my heart out and then a couple hours later, I reread it and laugh at how dumb I sounded. After, and here is the most important part, throw away the letter. Rip it up or burn it. Because having the person who I wrote the nasty letter to, read it, would probably cause more stress. Then I am back to step one! LOL
July 6th, 2009 at 11:04 am
For someone who has lived through remodeling a 100-year-old-victorian for the last 8+ years and counting. So far we raised part of the roof, re-roofed the house, remodeled both bathrooms, and 2 of the 5 bedroom, redid all heating, plumbing and electrical and my DH just demo’d an upstairs bedroom this past weekend.
I’ve tried knitting, writing, spinning, and, believe it or not, exercise. The only thing that works is giving up all hope that you will ever live in a clean house again, that the remodel will ever be complete, or worse, fully expecting that you will have your house including dream kitchen finished less than a week before you put the house up for sale–which is what happened with our last house.
The good news is that I do find temporary relief by running away to writing conferences and drinking Mojitos.
July 6th, 2009 at 11:14 am
I’m with you guys, Jenn and Laura–water is a great stress reliever. A long hot bath or shower always helps me. Other times it’s nature. I’ll sit out on the swing and listen to the birds and veg.
Oddly, sometimes it’s a fave, feel-good movie that helps. Maybe it gives me hope?
Great post!
Robin–I look forward to de-stressing with you and all the other 007s next week!
July 6th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Hi Laura—great post!
Like Jen, I walk outside or on my treadmill. I also meditate on all the good things in my life. After I remind myself that all these things stress causing things I’m chasing really don’t add up to what is really important–life and love. I always feel better after I take stock of that…
I’d love to learn to knit. I used to as a girl but don’t remember how. I need a refresher course.
Good luck with the remodel. It sounds exciting. WOW! We will want to see before and after pictures. Also, LOVED the video. LOL That was a stress reliever too!!
~Caroline
July 6th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Laura, I feel your pain. I’d go crazy if I remodeled my house and entire rooms were off-limits–we’re putting it up for sale in a few months, and I absolutely HATE the feeling of not being able to live freely in my own home. Always have to worry about someone dropping by, and everything has to be perfect…
Anyway, I find exercise, baths, shopping (for fun, not groceries!), driving alone with music, and spending time outdoors if the weather’s nice to be pretty relaxing. Just think about the end result of all that house work–I’m sure it will be worth the (temporary) stress!
July 6th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Shelley, I sew, too, but only straight lines.
I make quilts, totebags, and curtains. Clothing and things with curves to them are a source of stress for me! (I was happy to discover how much easier it was to make curved edges with knitting!)
Driving isn’t very relaxing to me, but then again, I live near some of the worst traffic on the East Coast, so driving tends to mean a lot of sitting in traffic.
Leshia, yep, I had a lot more time to work out and do yoga before I became a mom. But you’re right– even a little bit helps! (And I’m glad to know I’m not the only one whose mind gets too wound up to read.)
Andi, a nap sure sounds like a great idea to me! My husband does not nap and doesn’t understand how I could want to “waste” a perfectly good afternoon napping. (Although, again, I took a lot more naps B.C.– Before Child!) Thanks for visiting the blog!
Robin, yes, I think I’ve reached the “acceptance” stage of this process. Dusting is a lost cause, so now I have an excuse for not doing it. I am counting the minutes until National!
Deb, I need to get more feel-good movies. We’ve been watching good-but-intense award-nominated films lately… not very relaxing!
Caroline, I’ll have my knitting with me in DC. Yell if you want a crash refresher course!
Thanks for commenting!!
July 6th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Knitting helps me get through the day. If I didn’t knit on a given day, I’ll go to bed feeling like I missed something. Since someone–ah-hem–taught me to knit socks, it’s that much better! Except that wee problem with whittling down the yarn stash as opposed to buying more sock yarn (hey, I didn’t have much of THAT to begin with), and here comes the stress again…
Best yet is to turn on the iPod, pick up the knitting, get in a comfy spot (since the weather was so good this weekend, the front porch was PERFECT!) and get happy. It opens up channels in the mind so I can get my head into my story, and for me, working on a new story is the perfect stress-buster of all. Even in conflict, characters’ stories are so much more fun than my own life.
Thanks for the post, Laura!! Great job!
July 6th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
You people are so good. Can’t you guess how I cope, Laura? I’d like to say it’s by walking on my treadmill or crocheting, both of which I try to use to work off my frustration. But when I’m REALLY stressed out, I inevitably eat things that aren’t good for me–comfort foods like potato chips or chocolate. Isn’t chocolate the universal tranquilizer?
Laurie
July 6th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
I hear ya, Laurie. I LOVE chocolate, pasta, chips — but most of all, Ice Cream. Yes, it’s capitalized!!
And I have cholesterol that is climbing so I really have to watch my intake. snif snif….
July 6th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Laura, I know I’ve empathized in private… I feel your pain, too. We went through a kitchen remodel 3 years ago that was supposed to take a week. Thanks to my son breaking his great toe in a diving board mishap and needing surgery, we had to lock the workman out for one day (I didn’t want to risk him letting my dog out and her running away). What we didn’t know was that we were his last job. It took 6 weeks for the cupboards to get finished, the new sink installed, etc. We had our fridge and stove the whole time, but I washed the dishes in the bathtub for 6 weeks. Actually conducted my first newspaper interview (for writing) in a living room full of pots and pans, LOL.
When I was younger, I used to deal with stress by pounding on the piano. But then we were in a major car accident, and piano playing exacerbated my injuries, so I stopped playing years ago. Would love to get back to it someday. I walk every day with my dog. I guess that helps alleviate stress, but I do it for exercise. My kids are 18 and 21 now, so the stress is different than when they’re little. I used to punch pillows to help combat stress. I vent to my little sister. And that’s about it. Any activities that aren’t writing related, if I’m stressed, I try to ensure they’re as mind-numbing as possible (ie. I don’t have to think).
July 6th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Poor Laura. Home renovations and stress seem to go hand-in-hand. Hang in there, hon, because soon the work will be finished and your place will look fabulous. I’m with Caroline. We want to see before and after pictures so we can cyber toast your new home.
As for stress relief, I’m fortunate that my entire family takes karate so we can exhaust our frustrations with a good workout. However, knitting sounds like the perfect de-stressor provided one doesn’t use said needles on sluggish contractors. LOL!
Enjoy the break from the dust next week. You deserve it!
Gail, getting back into a routine after vacation
July 6th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Hi doll!
I’m happy to see I’m not the only pillow puncher. Saves a lot of noses–and lawsuits. Used to crochet and embroider, but with dh down, just finding time to breath can be fun, so I put on some really militant music (Pat Benetar is a fav) and belt it out at the top of my voice while scrubbing a tub or mowing the lawn. Or, if it’s really bad, I cry, get it out of my system, and keep going. Tears of rage don’t bring lawsuits either.
I’m sooooooo looking forward to DC.
July 6th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Avery, just the idea of having to keep my house ready to show at a moment’s notice gives me the heebie-jeebies!
Carla, since I’m holding you personally responsible for my knitting addiction, er, *hobby*, it seems only fair that I should get you addicted to knitting socks.
Laurie, I’ve been hitting the chocolate, too!! I think the worst part of having your kitchen torn apart is that it’s so much easier to grab some junk food than it is to fix healthy snacks. We’ve eaten waaaay too much takeout this month…
Cindy, thanks for all the commiseration. Sadly, most of the folks I’ve talked to say 4-6 weeks is about normal for a kitchen remodel. Ugh! But we’re making progress (the painter is here today), so I’m just going to keep looking forward to the end. You should definitely take up playing the piano again! I took lessons as a kid but wasn’t all that good. I’m so envious of folks with real musical talent!
Gail, I am in awe of your karate prowess. (Note to self: Don’t make Gail angry!) I bet that’s an *excellent* way to relieve stress!!
Gwynlyn, militant music is always good! Especially when I’m alone in the car and don’t have to worry about anyone else telling me to turn it down. (Or complain about my horrible singing!) Looking forward to singing in the bar with you in DC!
July 6th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Wonderful post, Laura
.
. And, like Laurie mentioned, there’s always chocolate. I consider devouring it a medicinal act…
I wish I could knit for stress relief, but — in my case — it would definitely have the opposite effect. (I have a box full of yarn and needles from my multiple attempts and, really, the “projects” I tried to create are horrible and mishapen clumps of wool.) So, like Cindy, I’ve played piano to combat stress. I’m not a good player by any means, but I like the pounding aspect of it
July 6th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Laura: quick get me a knitting needle and some yarn. My kitchen remodel starts in January simply because I’m to darn stressed to start it earlier! Washing dishes in the bathroom sink, make that a knitting needle and add a crochet hook or two in there. My husband runs Marathons too and is trying to qualify for the Boston. Kudos to your hubby. These guys are definitely rare birds that find the drive to run like they do. I walk a lot to relieve stress; lately moving my mom, coordinating the Daphne and finishing my book, stress is winning. Thanks for the thoughtful post! And good luck with your remodel…. you’ll have to tell me you have a HEA
July 6th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
I’m with your husband. A good run always helps. And then there’re Junior Mints. They’re not junk food. They’re manna of the gods.
July 6th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Marilyn, nope, knitting won’t work for relaxation if it stresses you out! (But if you– or anyone else– wants to learn, do check out the videos at http://www.knittinghelp.com.) Chocolate is definitely medicinal. I also believe it stops crime. I have a kitchen magnet that says, “Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt.”
Donnell, my sympathies!! (My advice? Don’t try to do the kitchen at the same time as you do the bathrooms, no matter how much money you save on labor, cabinetry, counters, etc!) When they rip out your kitchen, post something to the loop, and Cindy and I will send you pictures of finished kitchens and how happy we were once they were all done.
Steph, I don’t get you runners. Nice people, but I secretly suspect you’re a different species! I do agree with you on Junior Mints. Also, Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies. I have to keep them in the freezer in my garage and dole them out a few at a time, or I’ll eat the whole box!
July 6th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
I downloaded the eReader app for my Blackberry – now I have books with me at all times.
Good for waiting in line.
And you’re almost done with the renovations, right? You’ll love the finished product.
Heh, my word verification was “authors.” Gotta like that!
July 6th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Judi, I have got to get a new phone. I am so jealous of Ann & Robin’s iPhones! (Curse you, Verizon, for keeping me from an iPhone!)
I hope we’re nearing the end of the renovations, and I hope we love the finished product. It’s looking good so far, so fingers crossed!
Good luck with YOUR home improvement projects!
July 6th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
I can’t believe I’ve waited so long to start knitting and now I can’t stop. I find it’s a wonderful passive aggressive thing on my part. I was particularly ticked at my beloved today and stormed off to knit. I must be doing this on a regular basis because he finally came into my office where I sat knitting and cursing him under my breath. He appologized as soon as he saw my stockinette stitch.
(I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, “if loving my iphone is wrong…I don’t wanna be right.”)
The best of luck with the kitchen
Twinkles
July 7th, 2009 at 10:13 am
Bwahaha… welcome to the addiction, Twinkles! ;-D
July 7th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Just returned from the best stress-reliever in the world–the beach. Nothing pounds away the stress for me like time in the sun and sand. For everyday stress, the gym works, though that’s not nearly as much fun.
Good luck with your renovation, Laura. That’s one of the worst stressors, ever. I hope the results are dazzling!
Best–Adele Dubois