| By Gwynlyn MacKenzie | November 5, 2009 |
It’s the evening of Wednesday, 4 November—6:40, to be precise—and a quick glance at the calendar has me ready to shriek loud and long. In bold red letters, that calendar blares that I’m scheduled to post a blog in exactly six hours and twenty minutes.
Not only have I nothing written, but I have no idea what to write. Panic ensues.
Those who know me know life has been rather interesting around here for a wee while. I’m buried in things to do and often overwhelmed. I need more tasks like a drowning man needs a glass of water. I don’t want to let my Bond sisters down, but I can’t think of a viable topic.
Enter my mother. 
Yes, you read that correctly. Mom is the queen of adages, axioms, and aphorisms. If there is a circumstance for which she has no pithy sound-bite of work-worn wisdom, I have yet to find it.
“Can’t never did anything.” Yep, that’s what Mom would say. Then she would expound, “So get your butt in the chair and write something. It isn’t going to write itself!”
I roll my eyes (after I’ve turned away, of course. The fact I’m long married with three grown children has absolutely NO bearing. If Mom so much as thinks I’m copping an attitude, she won’t hesitate to smack me upside the head—even in my imagination.) Heaving a resigned sigh, I reply, “Yes, Mom.”
Thus, I sit and think about Mom. Hundreds of vignettes flash past until one makes me laugh; my 5’4” mom is shaking her finger in the face of my contrite 6’5” brother while spouting a litany of folksy remonstrations like “It’s stupid to cut off your nose to spite your face.”
EUREKA! An epiphany. Not only have Mom’s oft repeated maxim’s taken residence in my head, they are threads within the fabric of me. For example: I loathe ignorant people who think shouting an opponent into volume-induced deafness makes them right—empty barrels make the most noise—or people that do sloppy jobs—anything worth doing is worth doing well.
ARRRGGGG! I’m a walking cliché repository!
Not necessarily a bad thing, mind you. In truth, those embedded bits have often (it’s killing me to admit this) pushed me to do things my naturally cautious nature would forbid—like issue a challenge in which my part is to enter the 2010 Golden Heart®, write the entire 100K novel (nary a single word had yet been written,) polish the opening chapters, complete the synopsis, and have it in Houston before a deadline less than six weeks (now four weeks. EEEEK!) away. A brave fool is still a fool.
Now, before you call the local asylum and rant about the crazy lady who’s taken over this blog, let me explain.
There is another group blog to which I lend my questionable talents. Like this blog, it is comprised of GH finalists and happened to go live the first day of 2010 GH registration. With that in mind, we geared it to sharing our GH finalist experiences, both the highs and lows, giving tips and advice to those already planning to enter, and providing the fence-sitters with knowledge to allow them to make an informed choice.
For myself, with the 2010 conference close enough to drive, I wanted to enter but didn’t want to submit the manuscript that, while a finalist twice, didn’t win. Beside which, I had another story pounding my skull, demanding its place on the page. I needed a good reason to set all the rest of “to-do” aside and write it.
A couple of commenters were kind enough to provide it.
When commenting, they hemmed and hawed, unsure they should risk the entry fee when they had 40 or 50 thousand words yet to write. Some wanted reassurance it could be done, others wanted guidance, I wanted an excuse to write my story. We needed a boot from Mom.
I got the boot. Helping others is the quickest way to help yourself.
They got the challenge. No one ever won a race by dreaming about it.
The first thing they had to do was enter the GH. No risk, no worry.
The second thing they had to do was agree to post their progress, status, and goals to my personal blog on a regular basis. Not necessarily daily, but regularly. When the cat’s away, the mice will play.
Three gals took my challenge. Two are still with me. My first three chapters are ready for polish. Laurie, my friend and CP, tells me it’s good. Writing at this rate, who has time to over-think or over-write? Something to which I am, I admit, prone. Too much seasoning spoils a good stew.
Will I finish on time? Yes, I will. I’ve put money on it. There is no try. Only do or do not. (Not Mom, this time. Yoda, but I’ll bet he heard it from his mom!)
Will any of us final? Oh, I hope so, but I don’t know. I’m certainly not counting on it, but I will have proved, not only to myself but to the others who have joined me, that Mom is right: You can do anything you set your mind to.
The clock now reads 9:20. The blog is written, edited, and ready to publish.
Thanks, Mom. Love ya.
November 5th, 2009 at 2:20 am
What would we be without our mothers?
My Mum has a few favourite sayings, too, one of which is, ‘Your ideas won’t work unless you do.’
I’m in awe of your commitment to get your novel done for the GH, Gwynlyn! I’m working under a deadline, too – Jan 31st for this manuscript to go to my publisher. So,I’m going to have to be inspired by your efforts, and disconnect form the internet for a while and go and write!
November 5th, 2009 at 7:44 am
Hey Gwynlyn! Your mom sounds wonderful! I always tell myself that cliches only become cliches because they are true!
Hang in there, girl–We know that you’ll make it! I’m just out of extreme deadline he** myself. So happy to be able to breathe–and allow myself to come back to the ‘net!
We’re all rooting for you, here!
November 5th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Really fun post, Pat! Totally enjoyed all the funny sayings. My mother, who passed away in 1998, and who I still miss daily, also had many colorful expressions that she used on us. At that time we girls, all five of us, would try to figure out what the heck she was talking about—now, a few years older but really not much wiser….. they make better sense.
Knowing you, I have no doubts that you’ll finish your new mss in time for the Golden Heart. Just remember—They can conquer who believe they can!! Go, go go….
Hugs,
~C
November 5th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Gwynlyn, today you amaze and inspire me. Deliciously good thoughts on the GH. As for motherly sayings, the first one that comes to mind from my dear mum is, “Don’t waste water, we live in the desert.”
Hugs and happy writing!
November 5th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Here’s another one for you, my stressed-out friend.
NO PAIN, NO GAIN! Great blog. My mom is a world-class procrastinator–which has always driven me crazy–so her voice in my head doesn’t help. What motivates me is when I realize I’m procrastinating JUST LIKE MOM!
November 5th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Moms are grand!
You can do it, Gwynlyn! Thanks for inspiring me to get my rear in gear.
November 5th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Great post, Pat. Proof that you can write under pressure! You go on that novel, girl!
Kayla
November 5th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Gwynlyn….sorry!
November 5th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Gwynlyn, you’re an inspiration…and your mom sounds simply wonderful (and funny)! You will meet your goal, I know. I laughed at your comment about turning into a walking cliche–every time I hear myself saying something to my son that my mom would’ve said, I kinda cringe, but I giggle, too. I wonder if my mom, as she was issuing some of those warnings (“It’s only funny until someone gets an eye poked out,” etc.), was laughing to herself at having to sound like such a grown up.
November 5th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Go, Gwynlyn, go!
I, too, am working on a mission impossible deadline right now… But it’s my mission to render it possible.
November 5th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Popping out of my cave to say you gals are the best! Thanks to you all for the confidence and encouragement.
Truth, my family drives me insane, but it’s a short drive. I really would be lost without them.
Bron, I love your mom’s adage. I think I’ll add it to my repository. And your deadline has more teeth than mine—I can vomit the last bit, you have to have a saleable product. I’ll be rooting for you, my friend.
Deb, I’m so glad you made your goal. Now you can enjoy holiday prep!
Caroline, I so understand what you mean. I had to get older to understand a good 50% of Mom’s one-liners. Empty barrels flummoxed me for a LONG time—and then I met my FIL. *G*
Shelley, All I can say, doll, is your mom had a point! LOL
Laurie, Reverse psychology? Even unintentional. Whatever works. (Hope to send next chapter by tomorrow!)
Gail, you are welcome, of course. Thanks for being such a faithful friend and cheerleader.
Kayla, Will do. I promise to scream it from the housetops when I write “THE END” and when this gal’s screaming, Minn isn’t too far. LOL
Marilyn, I know, I know. We do seem to turn into our moms, but then, it should come as no surprise. They teach us about love and loving, caring and nurturing. My oldest daughter says it’s already happening to her, and she has no children yet.
Maureen, Then we will plunge forward in different locations but together in spirit with Bron. Sisters ’til the end! Sometimes just knowing we aren’t alone helps.
{{{{HUGS}}}} to you all. And thanks again.
November 5th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
You’re mom sounds like a wise woman who’d be a hoot to be around. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. LOL!
November 5th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Lives in truth and wisdom, this writer does.
Yoda’s mom
November 5th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
You go, girl!!! You wrote your blog and you will finish your mss in time for the GH.
And I love your Mom!
“Just Do It!”
November 5th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Sweet stuff, Gwynlyn!!
Love your mom…that picture of her bear-hugging your brother is adorable.
And I’m still just in awe of what you’re managing to do!!! KEEP ON GOING!!
November 5th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
I love your mom’s wisdom. Thanks for sharing.
November 5th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Jenn, Exactly my point. I can’t take the credit. It’s all come from Mom—even if I wasn’t always happy about it. Sometimes looking back gives a better perspective on just how blessed we are!
Diana, Thank you, Yoda’s mom!
Trying to find a “Momism” for this line didn’t work (can you say complete blank?) but your reference to Yoda in the RS2 blog certainly did! It’s sticking to me like a starving leech right about now!
Theresa, She’s pretty great, my mom. I’m so happy to have a reason to share her with my GH sisters. Mom always had a tendency to gather our friends into the fold. She’s been Mom to at least thirty or forty of them!
Elisa, I love that picture too. It was taken in August at our family picnic.
Thanks to you all for your comments and encouragement. Now, I’m retreating back into my cave!
{{{HUGS}}}
November 5th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Great blog, Gwynlyn! It’s so sweet you’ve written about your mom and how she’s inspired you throughout your life.
My mom isn’t near as pithy. She’s a psychotherapist, so she tends to dig deep, rummage around until my brain explodes and then as I begin to drool, calls it a job well done. (giggle, snort)
I still love her, though. Seriously. She’s usually right. I’d be lost without my mom. She’s the greatest.
November 5th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Gwynlyn:
What a wonderful post! (And I’m calling my mom for a quick hello as soon as I finish typing this!)
You WILL make your deadline and the book will be fabulous!
Addison
November 5th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
My sister called. She’s threatening to tell Mom I put a picture of her on the blog!
Kelly, Thanks for stopping. Mom’s a pip, but I’d be lost without her.
Shea, Mom’s are amazing, aren’t they? They go about things in a huge variety of ways, but get the job done. My mom understands pitfalls and barriers, but that’s no excuse. Around, over, whatever it takes, just get ‘er done!
Addison, You do that, doll, and make sure you tell her how lucky you are to have her. Moms aren’t always beside us, but they are WITH us forever—and thank heaven for that.
{{{HUGS}}}
November 5th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Loved this post, Gwynlyn. Sometimes those last minute thoughts are best (and we’ll hope that proves true on the writing too)
My mom’s favorite sayings:
“It’ll feel better when it quits hurting.”
“Wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills up the fastest.”
Oh, and one more – “That lasted as long as a paper shirt in a bear fight.”
November 6th, 2009 at 12:03 am
What a great post! At least your mom’s sayings are encouraging & kick***. Love the Yoda’s mom line LOL.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:09 am
Love this, Gwynlynn! You go!
November 6th, 2009 at 12:10 am
P.S. Why do I always put too many N’s in your name? :::shaking head:::
November 6th, 2009 at 12:29 am
Late as always, but what a wonderful blog! And if your GH entry is as fresh as this piece, it’s a guaranteed winner…. As my artist friend Sylvia Rochester likes to say… The first stroke is the freshest, and me thinks you’re a fabulous writer!
November 6th, 2009 at 12:42 am
Liz, Thanks, doll. It’s a real spur in the butt to know all my GH sisters are rooting for me. I love your mom’s bear maxim. Reminded me of something my Dad always says: Sometime you get the bear, and sometimes the bear gets you.
Mary, Thanks for stopping. I agree, I have a kick*** mom (with seven of us, I doubt she had much choice in the matter! LOL)
Cindy, Don’t worry about it, hon. Lots of folks call me Gwen or Lyn. Another Mom-ism; Call me anything but late for dinner.
Donnell, Thank you. As I said, I tend ot over-think and over-write. Perhaps this challenge will convince me to leave well enough alone—but don’t bank on it.