The current year is quickly coming to a close. (Thank, God.  As many of you know, 2009 was not particularly good to me.) Therefore, not much time is left to keep our annual resolutions or reach our yearly goals.  Too often we establish objectives for ourselves, and then the moment we experience a setback or realize we can’t clear the bar we’ve set for ourselves, many of us throw our hands up in total defeat.  I tend to be a perfectionist, so this is especially true for me.  We frequently quit striving despite that we might experience at least a partial success if we would just forge ahead.

My resolution back in January 2009 was to lose 50 pounds, and my professional goal was to write one new book.  Anyone who’s acquainted with me can tell you I haven’t lost a pound, and if anything, I’ve gained a few. (or at least I hope it was only a few)  And other than receiving a fifth nomination for the Golden Heart (the entry for which I actually submitted in December 2008), I also accomplished very little writing-wise this year.  So I may seem like the last person who should address the topic of resolutions and goals.

In reality, my reign as the 2009 poster child for what NOT to do if you want to meet your commitments to yourself has made me an expert on the subject.  Here’s my personal checklist of what NOT to do.

• Don’t allow your health or physical condition to deteriorate.  Doctors visits, tests, and medical procedures not only chew up a lot of precious writing time, but they also leave an individual too distracted to concentrate fully, thereby interrupting one’s creative process. The sedentary act of reading or writing leaves us highly susceptible to illness and weight gain and, in the end, too tired to accomplish much.  It’s important that we make a concerted effort to get enough exercise and eat a healthy diet. (Yes, I know this is beginning to sound like a love letter to myself.)

I’ve been reading a book called Flip the Switch (a guide to resetting the metabolism) by Robert K Cooper, PhD.  He recommends eating six to eight snacks throughout the day (every two to three hours), rather than consuming meals, to keep the metabolism constantly stoked.  Cooper also advocates drinking a gallon of ICE water throughout the day; a) to flush toxins from your body and b) because drinking cold liquids forces your system to work harder to maintain its normal body temperature.

The book also claims we should avoid sitting for more than 30 minutes at any one time.  (Ooops, there goes my alarm to run downstairs to have my 4 oz. container of low fat yogurt, a glass of ice water, and a bathroom break.) BRB

Okay, I’m back.  I know getting up every 30 minutes is a little extreme and too structured to get much accomplished.  Just about the time I get into the zone writing, it’s time to get up again.  So I’m compromising and setting my timer for every 45 minutes and running up and down the stairs twice (with an ice water and bathroom break between trips and a snack if it’s time) and heading right back to whatever I was doing.

Cooper maintains that constantly moving throughout the day keeps the basal metabolic rate consistently high, whereas a standard 30-60 minute hour workout only gives a boost for a few hours.  (That’s not to say one shouldn’t also do strength training to build muscle.)  So that’s what I’m trying to do.  I’ll let you know how it works.

• Don’t allow yourself get to become too distracted by yahoo loops, blogs, e-mail, research, and the Internet in general.  To remedy this, I’m trying to limit myself to one hour a day to read and respond to message boards, blogs, and e-mail.  Again, I’m using a timer.  I’ll also let you know how that works out.

• Don’t plan more than two vacations a year.  I hate to discourage anyone from getting away and enjoying life.  However, I have to list this because it was one of the big reasons I accomplished so little this year.  By the end of 2009, my total getaways will add up to SIX. (I know, poor me.  Boo-hoo, I had to go away six times!) The problem was I spent so much time planning, researching, and booking reservations for rental cars, flights, hotels, shows, restaurants, and attractions I feel like an amateur travel agent.  And don’t get me started on how much time I spent packing and unpacking or how eating in restaurants on six vacations did nothing to help me keep my resolution to lose weight.

• Don’t let yourself get too involved in socializing and partying. (I’m writing this after spending three solid weeks concentrating on planning my daughter-in-law’s baby shower.)  Inasmuch as I highly recommend entering the Golden Heart, I must also warn about the big pitfall that comes with it if you’re a finalist–you make so many wonderful new friends it’s difficult not to get caught up in spending a lot of your usual writing time with them.  Not to mention, all that partying also did nothing to reduce my waistline.

• Don’t find excuses not to work at your goal EVERY day.  Even if you only have enough time to write one sentence or do a tiny bit toward your objective (like climb an extra flight of stairs), do it.  Any idiot knows that if you consistently focus on your goals, you’re more likely to achieve them.  Once you get started doing whatever it is you need to do, you’ll find it’s easy to continue.

Do you see a common thread in this message?  The solution to reaching our objectives and keeping resolutions can be summed up in one word.  DISCIPLINE.   At the same time, we also shouldn’t expect the impossible from ourselves.

Everyone’s life is different, and, therefore, everyone’s list of DOs and DON’Ts vary.  An effective motivational program should only include objectives that are actually attainable and place YOU in control of whether you succeed.  Setting goals that you have little or no control over is pointless and a surefire recipe for failure. Set your targets at a challenging level but not so high that success will be impossible to achieve.

There goes that dang alarm again.  Gotta run!

Before I go, what are some of the obstacles in your way, and what do you need to put at the top of your “Things Not to Do If You Want to Reach Your Goals” list?

I’m also blogging at http://www.rubyslipperedsisterhood.com today, so stop over and say hi.

As many of you know, November is the month of NaNoWriMo – an all-out effort to write your brains out and complete a first draft of a new novel. While I’m not participating this year – I always seem to be mid-project when November rolls around – I am in an online group in which a number of members are participating, and I’ve been watching with interest the cheers and kudos, encouragement and shared “gritting-it-out” texts that have exploded in my email. At the same time, I have my own high-intensity goal to finish a project by month-end, along with several freelance gigs that have me wondering how I’m going to get everything done. It all got me thinking about how we accomplish our goals.

Whether you’re a writer or a reader, you probably have several projects to complete-efforts as personal as weight loss or giving up an unhealthy habit, or business projects, writing goals, volunteer initiatives or community service campaigns. Our projects can be simple enough to complete in one day–or long-term programs that may take months or even years to complete. But how do we get it all done?

Even in the midst all the large support groups, team cheering sections, circles-of-like-minds, etc., I’m convinced that the true achievers are those who do it (almost) alone. They can borrow from the energy of a large group-or feel compelled to perform because they don’t want to look bad (I absolutely have fallen in this latter category)–but if they don’t actually go off and do the work consistently themselves or if they don’t have a lot of personal passion, no amount of “group-think” in the world is going to get them back on track. There has to be an individual level of  focus to achieve that must come from within, to carry you through not only the heady excitement of the “first-day” of a project… but the fifth day, the fifteenth day, and most importantly, the day AFTER you’ve messed the project up in some way.

Today marks the beginning of some new projects for me–including an intriguing health/fitness plan and a work schedule that’s more structured than what I’ve had for the past few years in my freelance business. It also marks the middle of some other high-passion projects, such as the mid-way point for a manuscript I’m looking to complete by the end of November.

Although I used to be a died-in-the-wool DIYer, I’ve found I’ve expanded my approach a bit this time, in these ways:

• I’ve chosen one (or a VERY small group) of like-minded partners (the DI(A)Y approach!) for each project
• I’ve done a ton of research up front from people who’ve successfully completed similar initiatives in the past
• I’ve “cleared the decks” of typical distractions, vs. assuming that I can ignore all of the craziness of my daily life while attempting major change. This deck-clearing is an ongoing challenge, by the way!
• I’m tracking progress more formally (a trick I picked up through research). I’m a tracker by nature when I get really serious about something, but now I’m taking the tracking process to new levels, specifically over the next 2 weeks.
• I’ve set immediate goals (another research-generated learning). I have many projects that are long term, but that’s not the game here. To keep my focus sharp and my passion high, I’m literally looking at the next 14 days. Then, I will do an assessment, and chart the course for the next 14 days–but that’s all in the future. Right now, I’m looking at a 2-week opportunity for success. That’s all I have.

This last one, the short-duration focus, has an added bonus–one that I’ve already seen work in practice, and probably one many NaNoWriMo participants are experiencing as well. Nobody begrudges you a limited-duration goal. If you tell someone you’re giving up eating unhealthily FOR THE REST OF TIME, or that you’ve decided to commit yourself to writing several hours a day FOR EVER AND EVER, you may suddenly find yourself beset with lots of little roadblocks and temptations, most of which are generated by friends/family who don’t really WANT you to change the group dynamic. Change is often threatening, even good change. It’s tempting to turn your back on your unsupportive friends, but the successful DI(A)Yer knows you can’t do anything completely by yourself, unless you’ve got your own show on Discovery Channel.

Fortunately, there’s a better way. If you tell folks that you’re only doing something for a LIMITED time-say, 1 week, 2 weeks, a month–a lot of that resistance melts away, allowing you to get the support you need until you establish the achievement habits that will work for long-term success.  Where “forever” is inconceivable, “2 weeks” is acceptable. Then if whatever you’re doing is working for you, you’ve got the ammunition and confidence you need to keep going. You can then reassess, pull from mentorship materials and research, assemble your “Micro Team” and attack the next stage of your project! It’s the DI(A)Y Way.

What about You??

When you have a major initiative you’d like to undertake, do you go at it completely solo, with the help of several friends or team members, or with a Do It (Almost) Yourself approach? I’m fascinated by all things productivity related today, so any tips or tricks you can share with the group, please feel free!

Do you have a view on soul mates? Are you destined to meet yours or do you think it’s a matter of luck?

I tend towards optimism and believe in fate whereas my sweetheart believes life is based on chance.  

My hubby says, “I don’t believe that love is fated. I could never have received a fate as good as the woman I got.”  

    Yes, folks, he’s a keeper!     

Some say meeting a soul mate, or any occurrence in life, is coincidence, and how we arrive at the point we are today is simply a series of random events.

Some might say that but not me. Sure, we make choices that affect our outcome, but rightly or wrongly I believe one’s life mate is prearranged.

Certain religions support the concept of a soul mate. There’s a Jewish belief that says forty days before a foetus is formed, heaven decrees which girl will marry which boy. Talk about divine intervention!

Perhaps I left myself more open to opportunities for meeting my love because I knew he’d eventually show up. Of course depending on your point of view you might interpret that as making my own luck.

One could write a Ph.D. thesis on the subject of destiny versus luck. Instead I’d rather take a mini poll. Which outlook do you prefer – destiny or luck?

Good fortune (or possibly Google) provided me with this sweet song about waiting for one’s soul mate.

watch?v=zcx9cZEqP1U

One lucky (dare I say fated? *G*) person who comments will receive Michael Bublé’s upbeat CD, Call Me Irresponsible. No, it’s not his latest. Hey, I don’t have that one yet. However I’m optimistic that with a few subtle hints, my dearest love will buy a copy for his ‘wife by chance’ someday soon.

Life is a balancing act, and the words of Alex Cross, in James Patterson’s, Along Came A Spider, “Do what you are,” are a challenge when applied our daily life.

If you were to list those things that fill your life in order of importance from least to most, how much time would you admit they occupy in your day?

Is your life an inverted pyramid where you are mired down and never spend time on those people, and things, that are most dear to you? Or have you managed to give the most important things in your life most of your time and attention, thus living the pyramid?

In Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People he emphasizes the we need to reorganise the way we spend our time; based on the concept of importance – not urgency.

“Most people are “urgency addicted” and spend half their time doing things that are not important, that are urgent—things pressing, proximate, popular, and pleasant, but not really important. This is why I feel strongly that people should take time to reflect and to think deeply about what is important to them. I suggest that people take time to decided what they really want to accomplish and why.”

There are things in our life that we must do despite the fact that they may not be at the top of our list. But we don’t have to procrastinate accomplishing them or give them more of our time than neccesary.

Brian Tracy, author of Eat That Frog, suggests: “According to the old saying, if you eat a live frog first thing each morning you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing it’s probably the worst thing you’ll do all day. Using “eat that frog” as a metaphor for tackling the day’s most challenging and most prone to procrastination task, Eat That Frog shows readers how to zero in on these critical tasks and organize their time. This means not only getting more things done, but getting the right things done.”
 

No one likes to talk about goal setting but it’s the simplest way to accomplish those things that are important.

Based on ZenHabits of Really, Simple Goal Setting, I use two things to organize my house and yard, two jobs, large extended family, two cats and writing career. An index card a day and a paper (yes paper) calendar.

It’s not about multi tasking, but again, it is about what’s important. If it isn’t important, then why are you doing it?

With so much to do on a daily basis the final thing I leave you with is to be present.

We spend much of our one-on-one time with others anticipating what they will say next, ready to reply and have our voice heard or simply day dreaming.

Be.

Be in the moment.

There was a very popular book released in the late nineties that spend two years on the New York Times list, called Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, by Richard Carlson, PH.D.

Carlson ”presents common-sense advice for living a less hectic and more meaningful, loving life. His essential message is that we get caught up in minutiae, “the small stuff,” and never get around to doing what makes us or our loved ones happy.”

Today, I encourage you to stop and ask yourself if you are doing what you are.

In the words of Aristotle…”We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

“Man is capable of changing the world for the better if possible,

and of changing himself for the better if necessary.”

Viktor Frankl

Saturday morning before I left the house I noticed my hair was laying just right, and my new outfit managed to cover a multitude of sins. With a confident smile on my face I set off into the world. Everywhere I encountered smiling faces, lovely people. When I got home there was a contract for a short story I had written. Truly a wonderful day.

Last Thursday I woke and checked my email. Aren’t computers great? I don’t have to wait for the mailman to be rejected. No. Here it is in my AOL inbox. The start of a truly sucky day was confirmed by the guy who cut ahead in to my line at the post office as I tried to mail those contest entries. And to make matters worse, later that morning, some idiot stole my parking spot on the way in to the library to do research.

Clever writers and readers that you are, you have probably already discerned the difference between my days. While plenty of not so wonderful things occured on Saturday, I was able to assimilate them without much thought. Thursday my mindset was that life sucked, I sucked and actually the world in general sucked.

Our response to ourselves, and in turn the world around us creates a constant, as Dwight V. Swain, Techniques of the Selling Writer, puts it, ‘motivation-reaction unit.’

What are your ‘motivation-reaction units’? What do you input on a daily basis that creates your mental and/or spiritual output?

Do you input ‘I am never going to sell’ and ‘my writing is pond scum’ or remind yourself daily that you will be a published novelist? Are you taking steps towards that goal by visualizing, and affirming on a daily basis? Or does your daily input resemble the day before as you create a mental list of why you will not sell–your ‘mental-reaction units’.

What exactly is visualization?

It’s a dress rehearsal for your life.

Begin now, training your mind to accept the positive reinforcement of visualization and affirmations.

Viktor Frankl who lived through the horrors of German concentration camps shared this in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning. “…everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

The bible stories of Abraham, David, Gideon and Peter illustrate the lives of men who initially didn’t see the calling on their lives. They also demonstrate the power of ‘calling things as not as though they are’, and of truly stepping out in the vision of who you are meant to be.

If writing is your calling then start living the vision. If you aren’t sure, then I suggest you get sure. These ideas are applicable to everyone whether you are a writer or a reader.

Stephen Covey’s first habit in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is proactivity. “Change starts from within and highly effective people make the decision to improve their lives by changing the things they can influence rather than by simply reacting to external forces.”

I challenge you to create your own mental ’scenes’ and ’sequels’ –to plot the story of your writing life, and please remember to add all five senses to your scenes and sequels.

Can you see in your mind’s eye, ‘the call’, the moment the editor tells you she wants to buy your book? Do you feel the excitement bubbling from deep inside you, until it pours out of your mouth as you babble a completely ridiculous response? Do you see your glance moving to the clock which has now stopped as you record the time for posterity?

Do your mental scenes show you on the New York Times list? Can you see your agent calling you with that almost hysterical excitement as she shares the news? Now you are dancing around the room in sheer joy, stopping only to pop a bottle of champagne?

Do you see yourself sitting in the audience at RWA Nationals, nervously smoothing your dress with your moist palms, as your name is called. How are you going to walk all the way up those stairs to accept your RITA?

What about that second book? Can you reach out and touch the ink drying on the contract or are you playing the same sequel of rejection, over and over in your head?

If today you at very least examine your ‘motivation-reaction units’ to the world around you and your writing career, you have made a proactive step towards a positive change.

If your “Well” is a place to get comfortable and liquored up, it might be time to expand your horizons.

How do you stay creative? Creative people can get burned out, but the more I talk with and learn about other creative people, the more it seems we one thing in common: we are information gatherers. In the book, “Now Discover Your Strengths” it’s called INPUT. I call it RESEARCH.

Tell me if this sounds like you:  “You are inquisitive. You collect things.  You might collect information – words, facts, books, and quotations – or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you.  And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. if you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away.

Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when and why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.” (from Now Discover Your Strengths)

It turns out INPUT is a great strength to have if you are a writer, artist, or another type of creative. It doesn’t mean you are a pack rat, though if you’re not careful that can become the outward manifestation…in which case either produce work, or clean out the mess to free your mind. But INPUT can keep you fresh. If you are not naturally like this, here are some tips for when the ideas dry up.

1. Travel. Go to new places, sight-see, learn the stories and histories of the locals. There will be experiences, settings, visual reference, characters and more that you will come home with.
2. Visit Your Library. One trip to the stacks in the history or art departments is usually enough to keep me occupied for an entire afternoon. Browse the old books, periodicals, as well as the new stuff.
3. Tour Museums. Find a good Docent Tour and get educated. Or study portraits. I always make up stories in my head about their lives. Museums give giant colorful and/or sculptural inspiration for stories. (But don’t touch! They really don’t like that.) Museums a horrible temptation for tactile people, but I torture myself anyway.
4. Survey Popular Culture. This works less for me, but some swear by it. You might even be able to write-off the salon visit if that’s where you read all the pop magazines! (That’s what I call creative accounting.)
5. Go to the Symphony (or listen at home). Either way, you will likely doze off, but something about the math of music can clear the mind and open it up to musical stories. I always leave music productions inspired…if a little groggy. If you play an instrument, you should also try that.
6. Revisit Your Personal Library and Collections. How much fun is it to get more of your money’s worth on all those research books about England, Maritime History, Natural Phenomenon, and Medieval Times?  Or how about that fat file of clippings?

Do you do any of these now? Do you have one to recommend to our readers?

Come to the Well and share. Drinks are welcome!

Speaking of drinks, I will be signing SIREN’S SONG and SIREN’S SECRET this Saturday, July 25th, 1-230 PM at Barnes & Noble on Malvern in Fullerton. Then everyone is welcome to meet me at the Slidebar in Fullerton. More info on my web site. Hmm. Perhaps I’ll find another creative catalyst there.

Look forward to chatting and/or seeing you.

Many adventures!

Trish Albright