Around the time my children became teenagers, I told them the only reason I didn’t staple their lips shut — or worse — smother them in their sleep, was because I wanted grandchildren someday.

As of last spring, my 32-year-old son­ (yes, I conceived him when I was just six years old) had been married for nine years with no progeny, and my still-single 27-year-old daughter had been torturing me for eons, saying she wasn’t sure she wanted children (she now admits this was purely to push my buttons).

I wondered if—after listening to me threaten their existence throughout their adolescence—my kids possibly feared for their lives.  So I promised, if either of them was inspired to procreate, I wouldn’t bump them off after they reproduced.  Now, I can finally shout it to the world.  I’m a Grammy!

My grandson, Samuel Reason (I think they’re hoping for a sensible child) Kellogg, was born at 10:31 a.m. on Friday, December 18th, weighing 7 lbs. 14 ozs. and measuring 21 1/2 inches.  Here he is (RIGHT) at only 5 minutes old.  He doesn’t like those bad bright lights! He enjoyed his first bath even less.

An hour later (LEFT) our Santa Baby was sleeping peacefully after filling his belly. I made that little Santa hat for him)

I love kids, and family is the number one priority in my life.  I loved being a mother, so it’s no surprise my favorite novels are stories featuring children and teenagers, or that I’m inspired to write books about family relationships.

Unfortunately, there hasn’t been a big market for hearth and home stories outside of category romance (part of the reason I’m still unpublished). And the shorter length of series books and the strict parameters of tone and content limit the scope and subplots of those books.  However, things may be looking up.  I just read in a Publishers Weekly article that there may be a resurgence in contemporary romances, so perhaps that will include some single title home and family stories.

http://www.publishersweekly.com/index.asp?layout=talkbackCommentsFull&talk_back_header_id=6633494&articleid=CA6707062

One of the things I enjoy this time of year is most of the Christmas stories and anthologies have family relationship themes.  It makes me wish the single title publishers would print more of them all year round.  In the last two or three years, it seems the only contemporary single title romances editors will buy involve paranormal elements or murders.

For some strange reason, publishers and producers think if a subgenre becomes popular it’s the only thing they should produce.  For example, when was the last time you saw a Western on TV?  All we get on the boob tube are detectives, doctors, or psychics.  This all-or-nothing mentality is tantamount to the restaurant industry saying, “People love steak and lobster so let’s forget about serving any vegetables.”

Publishers are crying that books sales have fallen off.  Wouldn’t you think they’d realize more diversity might boost sales?

How about you?  Are you  in the mood to read more big contemporary romances with family dynamic subplots that don’t include vampires, ghosts, or dead bodies?  Or are you one of those readers who still can’t get enough of ghoulish novels?  There’s no judgment here.  Everyone is entitled to their taste.  Do you think readers’ preference is directly proportional to what’s being published today?

Don’t forget to enter the Super Secret Santa Giveaway and get some great reading material.  For your chance to win, just email nobodywritesitbetter@yahoo.com and tell us the Super Secret Santa Code (Hint: It’s what Santa says when he laughs).  Gail Fuller will announce the lucky winner on Christmas Day!

I don’t have many Martha Stewart moments.  My mind is usually preoccupied with chasing down my muse and keeping the stitches of everyday life sewn together.  But recently, a beautiful, long-coveted set of bookcases came into my life and the interior design Gods beckoned.

When faced with the daunting task of such lush literary real estate and not enough titles to grace them (yet!), I wondered how best to fill them.  My attempt to recreate a bookshelf display in a glossy magazine netted me at least six people asking me what was up with the spines turned in.  “It provides a more neutral look,” I’d answer, to which they’d most likely respond in a fit of giggles or a flippant, “what’s the point?”  My challenged decorating gene needed bookshelf guidance.

I asked around.  I paid closer attention when the Pottery Barn catalog came.  I searched online design meccas.  I laid out my bookshelf contents on the floor like a prayer rug to Nate Berkus.  Twice.  And do you know what?  They turned out pretty great with some guidance.

If your creativity doesn’t dip its toes into the visual organizational part of your brain, here are some rules of thumb for creating a bookcase display:

1.  Picture the end result.  If that means you want to feast your eyes on one of the beautiful covers Trish mentioned yesterday or one of DeSalvo’s six pack ab covers each time you exit your kitchen, it’s important to know that ahead of time.  Consider paint or fabric as a background to your shelves, which adds depth to your display and makes a great tie-in to your room’s other elements.

2.  Start at eye level and work outward.  Repeat after me: “Right, left, center.”  No, this is not a guess-my-congressman’s-slant game.  It’s a design mantra for balance.  Place items on the right first, left next and center last.  Left and right sides should not be symmetrical, unless you have an O.C.D. Martha-in-law who likes to touch your displays, nor should one side outweigh the other.

3.  Your family need not be the only odd things lying about.  Odd-numbered clusters are like visual Twinkies.

4.  Apply the white space fiction rule.  It worked for Raymond Carver and it’ll work for you, too.  Less is more.

5.  Size does matter when it comes to bookends.  If you’re insane enough to fork out enough dough to purchase Nora’s entire collection for some fleur de lis iron jobbers, make sure the volumes it holds are size-worthy.

6.  The world would be boring if we were all the same height.  When marrying accessories to a row of books, vertical differences ensure a happily ever after.  Whoa.  I think I just channeled Martha again.

7.   Pay attention to color palettes and textures and group accordingly.  No one wants to see your fifty year old Jane Austen edition next to the slick, forbidden fruit that is Twilight.  Come to think of it, I’m sure Jane herself doesn’t want to be there either.

8.  Books got back.  Vertical book lines are harsh.  Soften them by placing circular and curved-shaped objects nearby.

9.  Accessorize with your passions.  Jonas Armstrong dolls are creepy but effective at conveying your true personality.

10. Just like your awkward six-foot-five sister who was always exiled to the back row in family portraits, place taller items at the back of the shelf and work your way forward with more vertically challenged pieces.

What tips do you have for arranging bookshelves?

This is my last Nobody Writes It Better post for 2009, and this has been one helluva strange year for me. We’ve moved our entire household twice. (And yes, each move was every bit as painful as you might think.  >:-/ ) But now I’m unpacking into a large home office and experiencing fresh glee every time I come across something I love. Given that this is the week after (American) Thanksgiving and these items definitely inspire my gratitude, I thought I’d share them with you.

My Favorite Home Office / Writer’s Office Things:

1. Bookshelf Space.

Okay, so I can only fit three of my seven bookshelves in here along the wall. That’s because the second wall has all my desks/tables/surface area, the third wall is all sunny bay window, and the fourth side has two doors (bathroom and closet), a ginormous lateral filing cabinet…and a built-in bookshelf. Hooray for home builders with taste. (And for the husband who let me snag the master bedroom for my business office!)

2. My Amazon Kindle.

Great for uploading manuscripts to proof AND for downloading fun books. I’m currently reading Jana Oliver’s Sojourn and George Carlin’s Last Words.

3. Sunshine.

See aforementioned bay window. And one side of it looks out over the Sierra Nevadas. Now see aforementioned thumbs-up to husband.

4. Feline Assistants.

No writer’s office is complete without at least one. Especially if that one is skilled at “helping” me unpack.

I have to admit this is a pretty darned great setup.

What would make this space perfect?

1. Better heating. It’s only 63 degrees in this room in the mornings, thanks in part to those bay windows. For a former Georgia Peach, that calls for drastic measures. I’ve installed a space heater near my ankles and have a pair of gloves with USB-powered heating elements. Seriously.

2. A super comfy recliner for reading. Probably located next to the bay window. (I could always drape an electric blanket over it. )

3. A real desk, instead of my “slab of wood on top of two short filing cabinets” plus folding card tables setup. Still, surface area is surface area. And with a clutter monkey like me, it’ll all be used soon. And meanwhile, at least I have a couple of really good desk chairs.

You probably have ideas for a perfect writing, working, or reading space. What do you want in yours?

The life of a writer ain’t glamorous, that’s for sure. I know—insert my childrens’ eye-rolls here along with their snarky comment. “Call the Waaambulance!”

My next release, Breakfast in Bed was set to launch December first, so I’ve been frantically writing blogs for a month-long tour that was supposed to end the same day my next book, As Good as He Gets, is due on my editor’s desk. Needless to say, I was feeling a little stressed. It didn’t help matters when I received an email from my editor breaking the news that there was something wrong with the shipment of Breakfast in Bed. (Pause and take a deep breath, it’s just a couple of bumps right?) It seems that the red foil on the cover was sticking more to people’s hands than to the books. The entire shipment had to be sent back and reprinted. The new shipment is scheduled to hit the warehouse on the same day they were supposed to have hit the shelves. It’s a long and bumpy road we writers travel…

Luckily, most of the blog tour was rescheduled for a January launch. So, for everyone who is looking forward to buying Breakfast in Bed, it’s just gonna be a little late. The good thing is the reviews I’ve seen so far have been amazing. It received a 4-star review in Romantic Times Magazine, and a 5-Heart, Reviewers Top-Pick from Night Owl Romance.

I know there are always bumps in the road and you have to make due. So what’s the problem? I’m glad you asked. I expect the bumps, but what I didn’t expect was the huge pot holes I might encounter like the barrage of ugly and hurtful comments about writing romance I received in the last week.

Sure, I’ve heard other writers talk about how authors of romantic fiction get no respect, and I’ve heard my share of “When are you going to start writing real books?” I usually hit them with facts about romantic fiction sales, as well as the intelligent and well-educated women who write and read the genre. This last week I had one woman tell me she read my book and was surprised that it had a plot. That one rolled off my back. The next one was when I was waiting for Twinkle Toes to get dressed after dance so we could leave. One of the other dance moms asked how the book was going and the lady sitting next to me said “Oh you wrote Romeo, Romeo. I read it.” I thanked her and said that I hoped she enjoyed it. She gave me a funny look and said, “I usually don’t read those books, but it was cute.” I just smiled and said “Thanks, I think.” But Friday the 13th, I was left speechless. And for those who know me, speechless is not a state with which I’m familiar. It was a first.

I was at my daughter’s middle school to see her accept her entrée into the Honor Society. Yay! For me, it was a proud moment. For my youngest, it was all about the doughnuts the kids received after they shook the principal’s hand and were given their certificate of achievement and the highly coveted bumper sticker. After wearing her doughnut, and my taking three, count them, three napkins to clean her face off, she left the cafeteria with napkin lint covering her smiling, chubby face.

The eighth graders piled in so I got my things together to leave when a woman I used to see at the gym arrived. I’m tempted to call her by name, but I won’t because I’m not quite that mean. She asked why I hadn’t been to the gym. So I explained about my crazy life—home schooling Twinkle Toes, driving three hours a day, yada, yada, yada. Then she asked if I was still writing. Since I’m always prepared—I’m married to an ex-boy scout, after all—I whip out my beautiful bookmark, which has all three of my book covers on it. Surprised, she said, “You have three books out?” I nodded and told her I was working on my fourth. By this time, most of the 8^th grade had come in and their proud parents surrounded us. Gym Woman waves to everyone in the vicinity, and let me tell you, the place was packed, and at the top of her voice she says, “Robin writes trashy romances. I mean filthy, smutty, trashy romances.”

KLUNK – There went the front axel. I was now the center of attention, and I didn’t know what the heck to say. Then she asked why I didn’t get a real job, like teaching English. Thank God another woman who had a functioning brain stopped and asked me for one of my bookmarks. I handed her one. The wonderful woman looked at it, “You wrote Romeo, Romeo?” I nodded, still speechless. “Didn’t Romeo, Romeo win several awards?” By this time, I found my voice and said, “Yes, it did.” That’s when she turned to Gym Woman and smiled. “It’s so nice to meet an award winning author. I can’t wait for her next book.”

I’m sure that woman will be sainted in the near future. I thanked her and noticed that Gym Woman was nowhere to be found. I spent the rest of the day stewing about Gym Woman and I’ve realized something. While it felt like I hit a huge pot hole, I realized it was really only one more bump in the road. There will always be those who try to knock people down, but as a very good friend of mine said “They can’t knock you down unless you’re up there in the first place.” I got a lot of writing done that day just to spite Gym Woman. I wrote a fabulous fight scene and pictured her face the whole time I was doing it.

Sometimes the bumps in the road can be more than just a pain in the ass. They can cause emotions. You can decide whether you are going to let those bumps lead to something positive or allow them to defeat and damage you like a pot hole might your car. How you choose to look at them is entirely up to you. If I didn’t have a book due, I may have cleaned my whole house. That’s what I used to do whenever I got a mad-on. Anger is a very powerful motivator, as long as you use it for your own good. You can let things eat at you and fester, or you can turn all that power and emotion into something wonderful. In my case, it was a fight scene and believe me, it was one of the most satisfying fight scenes I’ve ever written.

So how do you handle your bumps in the road?

We’re in tough times right now. Polarized more than any other time I can remember in my adult life.  I don’t know about you, but the news hound in me has gone into hiding.  Sure I want to know what’s going on, but I can’t abide all this bickering, talking over one another, all these so-called journalists calling people who oppose them liars — or worse.  And the rudeness.  It’s enough for me to turn off the tube and its vitriolic messages and say Stop the planet, I’m getting off here.

I can’t stand this CONFLICT!

While it’s painful in real life, it’s also the reason readers turn pages.  They want to be absorbed in people’s lives and to follow it through to its resolution.  Without conflict, you have no story.  And I think it’s hysterical to see a book rejected for lack of conflict when we are up to our eyeballs in it these days.

My point is, conflict does have its place.  Done right, the clash between characters can have readers holding their breath, particularly in romance, when left wondering, how can this couple possibly end up together?

I recently finished The Associate by John Grisham.  As a former court reporter, I love legal thrillers, and I usually have a lawyer or two in my books.  But in The Associate the young protagonist is being blackmailed, and as I read, I thought, why doesn’t he just go to his lawyer/dad and ask for help?

Probably because if he had, there would be no story, and the reader and the publishing world would be deprived of one of Grisham’s greats — and no doubt his next block buster motion picture.  We trust John Grisham to pull off the plot, and without giving you a spoiler, he does, in my opinion.

In researching ideas for conflict I came across a film that aptly applies — particularly in light of today’s world.  The Way We Were with Barbara Streisand and Robert Redford.  Produced in 1973, and directed by Sydney Pollack, the story, which takes place before and during the World War II era, surrounds star-crossed lovers — Katie Morosky and Hubbel Gardiner.  Morosky, a Marxist Jew (Streisand) and Gardiner (Redford) WASP — white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant, are immediately attracted to each other, but engage in diverse political views, which eventually tear them apart.

The Way We Were was a huge movie phenomenon when I was growing up.  I don’t think there was a dry eye in the movie theater when my friends and I walked out, each wishing this couple so obviously in love could work things out.  I also think it’s interesting that in the article I read, that Barbara Streisand wanted to do a sequel to the film, but Robert Redford said no.  I can’t help but wonder if The Way We Were wasn’t intensely painful for Redford, and perhaps he didn’t want to deal with the conflict.  Then again, I have no basis in fact as to my thinking, and I’ve been known to make this stuff up!

Which brings me to ask:  Am I just a Pollyanna type, who as my daughter says I need to “Suck it up, Soldier,” and deal?  Or does all this yelling and talking over one another bother you, too?  What are your thoughts?  Do you enjoy reading page after page of heart-wrenching conflict, or does a little bit go a long way?  Have you ever been rejected for lack of it?  Can you think of a book or a film that deftly defines the concept in its storyline?

I confess I love to read about conflict.  I even work hard to add it to my stories.  But all these people talking over one another in a professional medium?  All I know is that as a trained listener, it bugs me!  There’s a reason a judge says, “Please! One at a time!”

Conflict — I’ll save mine for the books.

I read a lot, growing up. As a kid in Australia, our books came from the UK, the US, and Australia, so we had access to the classics as well as newer books from each of those literary cultures.

I met a lot of inspirational characters through books, and I learned a lot about life, and being the kind of person I wanted to be, from the characters I read about. Fiction shows us possibilities, allows us to imagine how things could be – and how we can be.

Now, some sociologists might worry about gender socialisation and anti-feminist role models entrenched in literature, but really, as a feminist myself, I see the reverse.

Just think about some of those young women we read about – even those written decades, or a century or more ago. In the classics from North America, there’s Louisa Alcott’s Jo March, L.M. Montgomery’s Anne Shirley, and Laura Ingalls Wilder. The Australian classics from a similar era introduced me to Ethel Turner’s Judy Woolcott in Seven Little Australians, and Norah Linton in Mary Grant Bruce’s Billabong series. All of these young female characters are vibrant, intelligent, and – most importantly – pro-active and positive. None of them sat around passively waiting for life to happen, or bemoaning their lot, wishing things were different. They were all optimistically realistic – dealing with the curved balls that life threw at them, prepared to work hard for their dreams and desires, appreciative of the good things in their lives. They weren’t afraid to live, to laugh, to love – or to cry, when necessary.

Of all the wonderful characters and books I read over the years, I think perhaps the most influential ones for me were Elsie Oxenham’s Abbey Girls. Most of you probably haven’t heard of the Abbey Girls – a series of more than 40 books, published in the UK from 1914 through to the 1950s, which centred around a group of school friends. Unlike many girls’ school stories, however, most of the action did not take place at the school, and the girls grew up, with the later books including their children, growing into teenagers. The Abbey of the series title refers to the ruined Grace Dieu Abbey in the grounds of Abinger Hall, where all of the characters live, at least for a time.

The Abbey books were out of print by the time I started reading them in the 1970s, and my mother and I hunted through second-hand bookshops and book fairs to find them (and we still haven’t found a few of the rarer titles…)

While the books definitely have the social biases of their class and time, and cannot be described as Great Literature, they nevertheless have a depth of characterisation unusual for similar books – particularly as we follow the characters through teenage years into adulthood, and each character grows and develops, in accordance with their personality. There are crises of friendship, of conscience, of career, of love; there are misunderstandings and deep hurts, and conflicts, confusions, and choices. None of the women are perfect: Joy is self-focused and at times insensitive; Maidlin is immature and indulged and over-protected by the others; Ros hides her feelings by playing the clown – sometimes irresponsibly. But they do all care about each other, and seek solutions to their problems, dilemmas and hurts, inspired in part by the Abbey in the garden, a place of sanctuary and healing.

My favourite character in the series is Jen Marchwood. Jen is a great balance of fun, good cheer, and optimism, but with compassion, understanding and wisdom. As a teenager, she’s a keen cricketer, and something of a tomboy – but she’s never silly. Later, married to a baronet, with a tribe of kids, taking her manorial duties seriously, she’s still always ready for a laugh, a game of cricket with the boys… or to give a friend a blunt and honest talking to when needed. Jen is the one that many of the Abbey Girls turn to when facing a crisis; she also has the maturity to recognise her own down-times and difficulties, and to seek solace when she needs it. The path between Abinger Hall, the Abbey, and the Manor next door is well-worn, and the image of Jen strolling through the gate, piping country dance tunes on her little three-hole pipe, is one that has always stuck with me.

As a teenager, I wanted to be like Jen when I grew up. Of course, I was always aware that Jen – and all the others in books I read – are fictional characters, and that the authors could make them do anything they wanted, but when I looked around at the adults I knew, the ones who seemed the happiest, the most grounded, the most capable of joy – these people shared many of the characteristics, personality traits and behaviours of characters I admired in books. Now I am grown up (mostly!), and although I haven’t got a baronet, a tribe of kids, a manor, or even a three-hole pipe, I’m still inspired by Jen, and by Jo, and Anne, and Norah, and many other women, both fictional and real – and I have a good life, rich in love and joy, despite the challenges and the ups and downs.

I think it’s often overlooked, or misinterpreted, that all these young female characters, created and written by women, demonstrated a great deal of emotional self-awareness, strength, and courage… and all this decades before (mostly male) academics and researchers published tomes on emotional intelligence, with its intrapersonal and interpersonal aspects, and argued for its essential importance for happiness and success.

Too late, guys. We already knew!

So, who are your favourite fictional characters, and what have you learned from them? Tell us about them in the comments….

(I’ll giveaway a copy of the UK edition of my romantic suspense, As Darkness Falls – with a strong, if traumatised heroine – to one lucky commentor.)

I was working furiously at my desk when my husband decided to join me in my office. He sat down on the couch to read a political magazine and proceeded to comment on every article. I was about to tell him to leave when my cat/office-mate made an appearance.

Raja, my three-legged Bengal talks but at least he’s not annoying. Since we named him Raja meaning King, he took the moniker to heart and treats me and every other biped like lowly servants. He sat outside the gate (meant to keep dogs, kids, and husbands out) in the doorway, which he is more than capable of climbing over, belts out an order, and expects me to serve as doorman while I wait patiently until he sees fit to enter. This, I suppose, makes perfect sense to him. To me–not so much.

As my husband read, Raja took his throne–the couch–and made it known that he wasn’t thrilled with the company. That’s when Stephen, aka DH, asked, “What animal character is in your next book?” Huh? I didn’t have a furry character in my book. No wonder something seemed off. When he saw the look of shock and horror on my face, he quickly backpedaled. “You don’t have to have an animal side-kick in every book. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Yeah, right. It’s fine.

If you read Romeo, Romeo, the first book in my Domestic Gods Series, you probably remember Dave the dog. Dave was the male version of my late dog, Clancy–a 150-pound Black Lab, St. Bernard mix. Clancy was certain all three of my children were her puppies, and she treated them as such. She was known to clean them, scold them, and baby-sit. Dave was such a great character, he was mentioned in almost every review the book received and even receives fan mail. He might have been a dog, but he was a living, breathing, well-rounded character with his own character arc. Yes, you might think it’s insane, but Dave had his own arc and was pivotal to the plot.

Dave was also in Too Hot to Handle. He stayed with the heroine, Annabelle, while his parents, Rosalie and Nick, doggie-proofed the love-nest and honeymooned. Again, he seemed to steal almost every scene he was in.

In Breakfast in Bed, the third book in my Domestic Gods series, which comes out in December 2009, my heroine, Becca, owns a rescued cat she found lying injured on the side of the road. Becca took him to the Vet. He survived, unfortunately, one of his legs didn’t, so she named him Tripod. Okay, so sue me, Tripod is Raja with a name-change. I’ve believed for some time now that Raja was jealous because he didn’t have his own book. He is such a character; I only added one thing while putting him on the page. Tripod loves drinking coffee and Raja doesn’t. Okay, maybe it’s because he’s never been offered any. Everything else about Tripod is true of Raja including the missing leg and his penchant for popcorn, potato chips, and spumoni. Most of his antics were taken out of real life happenings, although I did leave out a few of his tricks like his predilection for flushing the toilet while you’re still on it. Although funny, there no way I want my readers picturing my H/H sitting on the porcelain throne. It’s just not sexy.

After my DH asked me about what animal character I was going to put in my fourth book, I gave myself a head slap. Luckily, it must have stirred something loose and an idea came to mind. Gina, the heroine of As Good as He Gets (working title) grew up knowing she had to be able to fit all her belongings in two suitcases and a backpack because she and her family often found themselves in the unenviable position of having to pack up everything in 10 minutes in the dark in order to skip-out on the rent. Gina has been a character in all three previous books and has finally earned her own Happily Ever After. After much thought, I found the perfect pet for her. Meet Jasmine – She’s a pointer mix I found running down the highway about three years ago and brought home. She was about 9 months old, emaciated, and scared to death. It was the last night of our local Fireman’s Carnival, replete with fireworks and the poor baby was so terrified; she shook like a leaf and shed what little fur she had left. Still to this day, whenever there’s a thunderstorm or fireworks she throws herself on top of me and vibrates with fear.

The thing that gets me about Jasmine is she’s such a little lady. She’s put on about 20 pounds since we adopted her but she’s still so delicate. When she lies down, she crosses her dainty little paws like the proper little lady. Still, when it comes to getting what she wants, she’s not averse to nipping my 120-pound yellow lab in the butt, sending him off crying to me, his mama. She’s a spunky little package of street smarts and naiveté, very much like Gina herself. They are both strays who grew up on the streets taking care of themselves and they have a very hard time trusting and depending upon anyone. I think they’ll make a perfect match. Just like Gina and her hero Ben. It’s going to be a fun ride.

So tell me, what are your favorite three or four-legged characters from books or movies?

I freely confess:  I’m addicted to secondary characters!  And I love to read them as much as I love to write them.

I adore Jane Austen for many reasons, but it’s true that I love her secondaries as much as I do her fabulous main characters.  Yes, of course I do swoon over Mr. Darcy, along with most other women on the planet, but I adore Mr. Collins, his pre-planned compliments and his single-minded reverence for Lady Catherine just as much.  Do you remember the scene in the Ang Lee/Emma Thompson film version of Sense and Sensibility, where Mrs. Jennings runs through the streets of London, dodging people and leaping refuse just so she can get home to impart the latest gossip?  I laugh with joy every time.

Now that I think about it, this obsession began with my childhood reading, when I couldn’t wait to laugh along with Gurgi and his “crunchings and munchings” in Lloyd Alexander’s Prydain series or when I longed for every glimpse of Piemur in Anne McCaffrey’s Dragon Riders Of Pern books.

And the obsession continues today, in my love of historical romance.  I think secondary characters can add so much to a book, especially when they are recurring characters throughout a series or over several books.  Some of my favorites are Loretta Chase’s bumbling Bertie Trent and my own cp Liz Carlyle’s Kemble.

One of my favorite conventions is when an author uses a real life figure from history as a secondary character.  I love to see Beau Brummel, Wellington, even Prinny show up on the page to help a romance along.  I’ve done this a couple of times.  In An Improper Aristocrat I made my Historical Figure Man Crush, Giovanni Batistta Belzoni, a secondary.  In my new release, Her Cinderella Season–out now!–I couldn’t resist a tiny appearance by William Wilberforce, the Evangelical and the force behind so many years of battle to end slavery in England.

You see, my heroine Lily was born into English society but spent the last seven years in an Evangelical household.   While she’s enjoyed the charitable and political works she’s contributed to, she’s in no way willing to accept her mother’s choice for her husband.  Neither is she quite ready to give up on the idea of  a life filled with music, joy and love.  She faces the difficulty of blending her two worlds, of helping the scholarly Mr. Jack Alden chase down a villainous slaver, and of course, the greatest challenge of all–winning the elusive Mr. Alden’s heart!

You can find out more about Her Cinderella Season, read an article on the Evangelicals and enter to win a Hardcover version of HCS at my website, www.DebMarlowe.com

But first, tell me–do you like historical figures in novels?  Do you love secondary characters as much as I do?  Who are some of your favorites?

If you’re a writer, you’ve undoubtedly heard that editors and agents like to see a lot of white space in manuscripts—translated as go heavy on the dialogue.  That’s because readers love dialogue, which ultimately creates a faster paced novel.  I’m not referring to the how’s-the-weather variety of conversations but rather pithy, witty repartee.

My bio page at the 2009 GH multi-author blog http://RubySlipperedSisterhood.com lists my Ruby Sister nickname as Ruby Queen of Snark.  Granted, I may not be the actual QUEEN of sarcasm, (I think that official title was claimed by someone known as Venomous Kate, the author of an abandoned blog, queenofsnark.com), however, I rank at least as high as a princess or duchess in the art of snark.  My mouth has gotten me—and my characters—in serious trouble on more than just a few occasions.   Therefore, it’s no big surprise that I’m also a devotee of novels and movies with snappy comebacks.  One of my favorite old TV shows is The Golden Girls.  I love Dorothy’s (Bea Arthur’s) snide answers to Rose’s (Betty White’s) dumber-than-dirt questions.

Since I’m inevitably drawn to books and movies rife with clever quips, there’s little wonder I have trouble keeping irreverent wisecracks out of my serious family dramas.  I suspect that’s part of the reason I’m a two-time winner of the Golden Heart award and still unpublished.  In 2003—the first time my work was a finalist in a contest—I received the following comment from one of my judges:  “What a terrific voice!  Great dialogue—I SEE these people sparring—like Spencer Tracy & Hepburn.”  Hepburn in this plot plays a heroine who discovers she has a half-sister with leukemia-not exactly a funny situation.

In my experience, a few great lines of dialogue can be the difference between a good movie or book and an exceptional one.  And even if profound or snappy remarks don’t make the film great, they at least make it memorable.  For example, who could ever forget the lines “You had me at hello” and “Show me the money!” from Jerry MaGuire.

Some quotes from movies have become so renowned you can immediately identify the film from them.  And a few have been quoted so often they’ve become clichés. To illustrate, let’s play a little game.  I’ll list lines from ten different movies, and you guess their titles. (But don’t post the answers and ruin the fun for everyone else.  I’ll list the ten titles later this evening.) Since I’m a romance junkie, most of them are—duhhh—from romances, but a few aren’t.  On some of them, I’ve include two or three lines from the movie because I loved them all so much I couldn’t choose.

1.  “Stores are never nice to people.  They’re nice to credit cards.”

2.  “Oh, yeah, you blend.”

“This is a tough decision.  Get my a** kicked or collect $200.  Hmm . . . I think I’ll collect $200.

“Now, I ask you.  Would you give a f#*% what kind of pants the SOB who shot you was wearing?”

3.  “You can’t handle the truth!”

4. “Now I can see I bring out the worst in you.  Just let me stop you from saying something you’ll torture yourself about for years to come.”

“I wanted it to be you.  I wanted it to be you so badly.”

5.  “You make me want to be a better man.”

6. “Your boss is the Chief Executive of fantasy land.”

“Let’s take him out back and beat the s**t out of him.”

“Just stay away from DuPont Circle.  I hear it’s murder this time of day.”

7.  “Ditto.”

8.  “Uhh—that you’re the only living heart donor.”

“We were up to our elbows in your underwear drawer.  It was like touching the Shroud of Turin!”

9.  “You’re crème brûlée.  You can never be Jell-O.”

10. “Life is like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you’re gonna get.”

How did you do?  If you recognized seven out of the ten, I’ve made my point.  Relevant, entertaining dialogue is one of the most important elements of a good book, and crafting it can be one of the most difficult skills to master.  Naturally, being cursed with the smart aleck gene, my preference leans toward witty retorts.  It’s why Susan Elizabeth Phillips is one of my favorite authors.  Nonetheless, dialogue doesn’t have to be funny to make an impact. Examples 3,4,5,7, & 10 from above are great examples of how dramatic, romantic, or profound statements can stick in our minds.

Witty repartee doesn’t just happen.  It takes revising and polishing to perfect the thrust and parry of the ping-pong dialogue that makes our characters’ conversations larger than life.  Readers love and admire that the hero and heroine always know the perfect thing to say at any given moment. (Unless, of course, the heroine happens to be Kathleen Kelly in You’ve Got Mail.) 

Have you ever noticed the movies you watch over and over and the books you enjoy rereading are usually ones with great dialogue?  Now it’s your turn to share those titles.  What are some of your favorite lines in them?  What kind of dialogue do you prefer—dramatic, witty, poignant, etc?   Which authors can you rely on to deliver entertaining or compelling dialogue?

As a Personal Branding Coach, I’ve had the opportunity to work with hundreds of authors on their Brands – what they write, how they package their work, how they present themselves on line –  even what they wear at booksignings. At some point during every one of those interactions, whether one-on-one or in a group, I’ve heard the same lament: I can control everything else… but I can’t do anything about my covers. I have limited (or no) sway over the marketing department, I don’t write the copy, I can’t even pick the cover models!

No matter if these authors were new or solidly mid-list, they all had chilling stories about The Horrifying Cover To End All Covers, or they were convinced that a Career-Killing Cover was just around the corner. I’m talking about the cover with the broken-necked heroine whose hair – gorgeously coiffed despite the driving rainstorm surrounding her – swirls and flies as if it has its own character arc. The cover with the hero, looking mysteriously androgynous from the neck up, and shockingly male (though hairless) from the neck down, who is gripping the heroine in a hold that would be considered illegal in most Blue States. The cover where the hero and heroine are bold! They are impassioned! And they look nothing like the characters in the book! To add insult to injury, the title has been changed from “Forgotten Whispers” to “Tantalizing Tongue Tango in Telluride” (though the book only mentions Telluride once… in a two-minute phone call…) and the back cover blurb appears to have been written by a breathless fourteen-year-old whose idea of true love starts with “I never thought it would happen to me…” You know… That cover.

Which got me thinking: What DOES convince a buyer to make an impulse purchase of a book, particularly in today’s economy? Is it the cover art, the title, the blurb on the back? The genre? The author’s name? The publisher?

I had this experience myself, this week. I was in a bookstore to buy something specific, and the store didn’t have the book I wanted. So there I was, with a coupon burning a hole in my pocket, and nothing in particular to buy. Should I leave without buying a book? That’s really not a possibility in my world. However, I was in a hurry. So I made a new selection within about 30 seconds, and I was off to the counter. How did I do it? Let’s run through the options that could have impacted my purchase:

1.  The Author?

Never heard of her. Still can’t remember her name, though I have a feeling I will after I read her book.

2.  The Title?

It wasn’t brilliant, but it caught my attention as a cheeky title for a paranormal (or a mystery, I wasn’t sure at first)-and I thought it was cool that the book had a subtitle, indicating that this book was part of a series. Importantly, I was only marginally hesitant over the fact that I might be coming into a series midway. There was nothing to indicate that this was “Book 1″, “Book 2″ or “Book 16″, but I didn’t care. I was hooked.

3.  The Cover Art?

Oh, yeah. It was period and gorgeous and slyly humorous, and the blurb at the lower left indicated without a doubt that the book was a paranormal. So a historical paranormal with humor, and it had a good cover quote by a “New York Times Bestselling Author”. I’m a bit cynical about those, but I know of and like the author who was quoted, so that still was a bonus for me.

4.  Publisher?

Never checked prior to buying the book. But you can bet I will going forward, particularly if the book lives up to its promise.

5.  The Back Cover Blurb?

Yup. After the cover art, a quick (and I mean QUICK) scan of the blurb tripped my trigger – it validated the cover’s approach to the book, and deepened it. In addition, the clear sense of continuity the book offered (that it was part of a series) made me think this was a world I might want to spend some time with.

And that was it. I spent somewhere around $5 on the book, with my coupon, and was wholly satisfied. I’ll stay satisfied until I read the book, too, and then my opinion will be improved or damaged depending on the quality of the work. Importantly, this is not a book that I must read by midnight tonight – because, truly, only a Must Read Author gets that kind of treatment from me. But it’s definitely in my To Be Read pile, and I’m absolutely intrigued with it.

So, in short: Those authors lamenting their dismay over The Horrifying Cover To End All Covers? Well, they have a definite point. Consumers today are harried, overloaded, and short on time and attention. Money is tight, and trying out a new author in particular is always a gamble. A cover can make the difference – but it still depends on a great story in many cases: if you have a so-so story, then not only will you not live up to your packaging, but chances are you won’t have an amazing cover. If you have a BRILLIANT story, you have a much better shot at a brilliant cover… fabulous blurb copy… and a sale.

For me, choosing a book by an author new to me was made easier by a combination of art and back-cover blurb. A great author quote can’t hurt, even though I know that’s probably just spin. If I had to nail it down to JUST ONE THING, however, it’d take the cover blurb for me to make the decision – but in most cases, the art would still help get me to read that blurb.

What about you? Why do you pick up a book-and what convinces you to buy it, especially if you don’t recognize the author? Are there any covers that you can recall that stuck with you-for good or ill? (Speak in generalities only-remember, every cover out there DID seem like a good idea to someone at the time!)