The world of Personal Branding is never too far from my mind, but Christmas time always serves to remind me of how much “who” we are affects “what” we do this time of year. 

Whether it’s giving purchased Christmas gifts or homemade treasures, baking for family and friends or hitting the town for a whirlwind of Christmas parties… or staying home and enjoying cocoa and a warm fire while reading by the Christmas tree… or counting the days down to the magic of Christmas morning: Christmas brings out our most authentic selves. For myself, I find that I take the time to reach out, re-make connections, and even attend a party or two. One of my favorite Christmas celebrations comes a bit early, on Solstice, and New Year’s Eve is an elaborate event for me – even though I usually celebrate it very quietly. All of these rituals – gift giving, reaching out, sharing with family, the unique ways we mark special days – are part of who we are… and the gift we really give to others, especially this time of year, is just that: ourselves.

I’m always amazed at how even the most jaded of my friends can be touched by the unexpected joys of the holidays – the excitement of a child on Christmas morning, the wonder of a starry sky, the bracing chill of a perfect winter’s day. It’s as if we give ourselves permission to take pleasure in the little things, to take a moment to step away from the hurry and rush of the logistical side of the season, and remember the magic that takes us back to simpler times. It’s in those moments that we are our true selves – either the child we once were, or the believer in hope, or the wide-eyed giver who wants only to see the happiness on another’s face. That true, authentic expression of who we are is worth holding on to the entire year, worth finding ways of sharing even in early March when it is STILL COLD and yet Spring is nowhere in sight, or in deep July when the air is so thick with humidity that it takes on a personality of its own. Christmas is less of a season than a reminder of who we really are when we are our best selves – and that’s a gift of value no matter what time of year.

So here’s today’s Question: What gift have you given that you feel was a true expression of your best self – whether because it had personal meaning, it touched the receiver in the way you hoped it would, or it was considered the perfect kind of gift for you to give?  I’ll include mine below in the comments section to get things started.

And for those who are interested in developing their own Brands, I am leading an online class with the Mid-Willamette Valley RWA starting early next month. January is a perfect time to launch a Brand, so I’m definitely looking forward to the class!

Merry Christmas, everyone! And may 2010 bring you amazing joy and prosperity.

Don’t forget to enter the Super Secret Santa Giveaway and get some great reading material.  For your chance to win, just email nobodywritesitbetter@yahoo.com and tell us the Super Secret Santa Code (Hint: It’s what Santa says when he laughs).  Gail Fuller will announce the lucky winner on Christmas Day!

Am I the only one guilty of judging a book not by its cover, but by its white space?  Yes, I confess, I love white space.  Lots of dialog with brief-to-medium paragraphs.  And, actually, short chapters, too. When I complete a chapter, I’ll count ahead to see how many pages until the next chapter ending.  I don’t know if this is some sort of neurosis I’m suffering from or actually quite common in other readers.  Let me clarify though, chapter length or lack of white space isn’t a deal breaker for me, just more like a bonus. I read lots of books with long chapters and lengthy paragraphs, but given the choice, I much prefer the opposite.  And, too, all that unmarred white space just feels good to my eyes. On one hand, I’m attracted to white space, but on the other I understand it’s the little back letters that take up this white space that makes a story unforgettable.  (I’ve NEVER read the end of a novel first!)

Here’s something else I’ve never understood.  Say the book I’ve ordered and have been waiting on for a week, is in.  I set aside a good chuck of uninterrupted time. No phones. No kids. No computer.  I devour the first chapter like it’s a half melted milk chocolate Lenz truffle.  I’m in heaven!  I never want the book to end, and yet I read it as fast as I can—to be done.  I want to be done.  I want to know what the last paragraph, last sentence says.  But, then it’s over, and I’m kind of sorry that it is.  It’s a paradox, and I don’t get it.  But I do know that the author has done her job superbly and deserves a pat on the back.

Now I’d like to know what you think.  Do you like long or short paragraphs?  What about chapter length?  Do you read as if there’s catastrophe just outside your door and this is your one and only chance to get ‘er done, or do you languish and ponder as you go?

Along with your comments I’ve included a couple of polls to make it easier to keep track of this valuable information.  I think it’ll be fun to see what’s most preferred.  They’re located at; http://inthenickeroftime.wordpress.com/polls/

This is my last Nobody Writes It Better post for 2009, and this has been one helluva strange year for me. We’ve moved our entire household twice. (And yes, each move was every bit as painful as you might think.  >:-/ ) But now I’m unpacking into a large home office and experiencing fresh glee every time I come across something I love. Given that this is the week after (American) Thanksgiving and these items definitely inspire my gratitude, I thought I’d share them with you.

My Favorite Home Office / Writer’s Office Things:

1. Bookshelf Space.

Okay, so I can only fit three of my seven bookshelves in here along the wall. That’s because the second wall has all my desks/tables/surface area, the third wall is all sunny bay window, and the fourth side has two doors (bathroom and closet), a ginormous lateral filing cabinet…and a built-in bookshelf. Hooray for home builders with taste. (And for the husband who let me snag the master bedroom for my business office!)

2. My Amazon Kindle.

Great for uploading manuscripts to proof AND for downloading fun books. I’m currently reading Jana Oliver’s Sojourn and George Carlin’s Last Words.

3. Sunshine.

See aforementioned bay window. And one side of it looks out over the Sierra Nevadas. Now see aforementioned thumbs-up to husband.

4. Feline Assistants.

No writer’s office is complete without at least one. Especially if that one is skilled at “helping” me unpack.

I have to admit this is a pretty darned great setup.

What would make this space perfect?

1. Better heating. It’s only 63 degrees in this room in the mornings, thanks in part to those bay windows. For a former Georgia Peach, that calls for drastic measures. I’ve installed a space heater near my ankles and have a pair of gloves with USB-powered heating elements. Seriously.

2. A super comfy recliner for reading. Probably located next to the bay window. (I could always drape an electric blanket over it. )

3. A real desk, instead of my “slab of wood on top of two short filing cabinets” plus folding card tables setup. Still, surface area is surface area. And with a clutter monkey like me, it’ll all be used soon. And meanwhile, at least I have a couple of really good desk chairs.

You probably have ideas for a perfect writing, working, or reading space. What do you want in yours?

I’ve been really enjoying Glee (and sad that we’re a week or so behind the US here in Oz) but last week something happened on the show that made my writer self think “hmmmm.”  Now writing is all about creating a world and inviting the reader or watcher to suspend disbelief, step inside that world and stay there, so you don’t want them pausing to think “hmmmm.”

In Glee, there’s a teen pregnancy subplot (I won’t say who in case anyone is behind on the show).  And the episode I just saw had a big subplot around the fact that the girl is pressuring the boy for money to pay the medical bills that she’s intercepting and hiding from her parents.  Which would be fine except for the part in the episode or two before where her pregnancy became public knowledge in the school via the school’s gossip blogger. So I now have a lot of difficulty believing that her parents wouldn’t have found out when every kid in that high school and you can just bet some of them have told their parents (and it’s set in a small town) plus all the teachers know she’s pregnant.

Now, it’s not yet a big enough issue for me to completely give up on the show because it’s not a major plot and I love the rest of the show too much but if the writers don’t address it or fix it and keep playing the “secret” pregnancy angle, I can tell it’s going to bug me a lot.  For another thing, the girl in question is quite slim (so she won’t be able to hide it too long) plus she’s been kicked out of something that was a big part of her life, which would also be hard to hide from the parents.  So if they keep playing the story this way, they’re going to have to come up with a brilliant reason why her parents don’t know or I’ll be gnashing my teeth.

Even if they do fix it, as a writer, it’ll bug me a bit in the back of my mind.  The way that the fact that the writers of Gilmore Girls had Rory not know what a Birkin bag was when her rich boyfriend gave her one bugs me every time I watch the last series of Gilmore Girls. For those who’ve never watched Gilmore Girls, Rory and her mom Lorelei are complete pop culture divas, read lots of magazines and watch copious amounts of TV.  A Birkin bag was a big deal in a Sex and the City episode and they also feature regularly in fashion mags as they’re very hard to get and hideously expensive so I didn’t buy that Rory would be so clueless about one. Maybe at the beginning of the show when she was sixteen but not at twenty two. Again, it doesn’t ruin the show for me but it does kick me out of the world every time in that episode.  Which isn’t good. And in this case the bag didn’t even really play a role other than “rich boyfriend gives expensive present that impresses Grandmother”. It didn’t get lost or stolen and you never see Lorelei’s reaction (and Lorelei would definitely know what a Birkin was).  It’s never mentioned again. It was a complete waste of valuable story time.

So my question is when does a writerly error or inconsistent plot idea become too much for you?  What will you put up with?  Personally I think a TV series has more leeway because they’re telling a much longer story than a book or a movie and I tend to think “hey they might fix this” if I like the rest of the world.  In a book I have less faith. How about you?  What throws you out of a world (other than times when you just don’t connect with the writing)?  Plot problems? Stupid characters? Anachronisms or contradictions in world ‘rules’? Do you have a short or long “wallbanger” fuse?

Photo credit (Licensed under Creative Commons 2.0)

The life of a writer ain’t glamorous, that’s for sure. I know—insert my childrens’ eye-rolls here along with their snarky comment. “Call the Waaambulance!”

My next release, Breakfast in Bed was set to launch December first, so I’ve been frantically writing blogs for a month-long tour that was supposed to end the same day my next book, As Good as He Gets, is due on my editor’s desk. Needless to say, I was feeling a little stressed. It didn’t help matters when I received an email from my editor breaking the news that there was something wrong with the shipment of Breakfast in Bed. (Pause and take a deep breath, it’s just a couple of bumps right?) It seems that the red foil on the cover was sticking more to people’s hands than to the books. The entire shipment had to be sent back and reprinted. The new shipment is scheduled to hit the warehouse on the same day they were supposed to have hit the shelves. It’s a long and bumpy road we writers travel…

Luckily, most of the blog tour was rescheduled for a January launch. So, for everyone who is looking forward to buying Breakfast in Bed, it’s just gonna be a little late. The good thing is the reviews I’ve seen so far have been amazing. It received a 4-star review in Romantic Times Magazine, and a 5-Heart, Reviewers Top-Pick from Night Owl Romance.

I know there are always bumps in the road and you have to make due. So what’s the problem? I’m glad you asked. I expect the bumps, but what I didn’t expect was the huge pot holes I might encounter like the barrage of ugly and hurtful comments about writing romance I received in the last week.

Sure, I’ve heard other writers talk about how authors of romantic fiction get no respect, and I’ve heard my share of “When are you going to start writing real books?” I usually hit them with facts about romantic fiction sales, as well as the intelligent and well-educated women who write and read the genre. This last week I had one woman tell me she read my book and was surprised that it had a plot. That one rolled off my back. The next one was when I was waiting for Twinkle Toes to get dressed after dance so we could leave. One of the other dance moms asked how the book was going and the lady sitting next to me said “Oh you wrote Romeo, Romeo. I read it.” I thanked her and said that I hoped she enjoyed it. She gave me a funny look and said, “I usually don’t read those books, but it was cute.” I just smiled and said “Thanks, I think.” But Friday the 13th, I was left speechless. And for those who know me, speechless is not a state with which I’m familiar. It was a first.

I was at my daughter’s middle school to see her accept her entrée into the Honor Society. Yay! For me, it was a proud moment. For my youngest, it was all about the doughnuts the kids received after they shook the principal’s hand and were given their certificate of achievement and the highly coveted bumper sticker. After wearing her doughnut, and my taking three, count them, three napkins to clean her face off, she left the cafeteria with napkin lint covering her smiling, chubby face.

The eighth graders piled in so I got my things together to leave when a woman I used to see at the gym arrived. I’m tempted to call her by name, but I won’t because I’m not quite that mean. She asked why I hadn’t been to the gym. So I explained about my crazy life—home schooling Twinkle Toes, driving three hours a day, yada, yada, yada. Then she asked if I was still writing. Since I’m always prepared—I’m married to an ex-boy scout, after all—I whip out my beautiful bookmark, which has all three of my book covers on it. Surprised, she said, “You have three books out?” I nodded and told her I was working on my fourth. By this time, most of the 8^th grade had come in and their proud parents surrounded us. Gym Woman waves to everyone in the vicinity, and let me tell you, the place was packed, and at the top of her voice she says, “Robin writes trashy romances. I mean filthy, smutty, trashy romances.”

KLUNK – There went the front axel. I was now the center of attention, and I didn’t know what the heck to say. Then she asked why I didn’t get a real job, like teaching English. Thank God another woman who had a functioning brain stopped and asked me for one of my bookmarks. I handed her one. The wonderful woman looked at it, “You wrote Romeo, Romeo?” I nodded, still speechless. “Didn’t Romeo, Romeo win several awards?” By this time, I found my voice and said, “Yes, it did.” That’s when she turned to Gym Woman and smiled. “It’s so nice to meet an award winning author. I can’t wait for her next book.”

I’m sure that woman will be sainted in the near future. I thanked her and noticed that Gym Woman was nowhere to be found. I spent the rest of the day stewing about Gym Woman and I’ve realized something. While it felt like I hit a huge pot hole, I realized it was really only one more bump in the road. There will always be those who try to knock people down, but as a very good friend of mine said “They can’t knock you down unless you’re up there in the first place.” I got a lot of writing done that day just to spite Gym Woman. I wrote a fabulous fight scene and pictured her face the whole time I was doing it.

Sometimes the bumps in the road can be more than just a pain in the ass. They can cause emotions. You can decide whether you are going to let those bumps lead to something positive or allow them to defeat and damage you like a pot hole might your car. How you choose to look at them is entirely up to you. If I didn’t have a book due, I may have cleaned my whole house. That’s what I used to do whenever I got a mad-on. Anger is a very powerful motivator, as long as you use it for your own good. You can let things eat at you and fester, or you can turn all that power and emotion into something wonderful. In my case, it was a fight scene and believe me, it was one of the most satisfying fight scenes I’ve ever written.

So how do you handle your bumps in the road?

My debut novel, According to Jane (Kensington, October 2009), has been out for just over a month, and I’m sure this will come as no surprise when I say I’ve found the whole process to be quite a learning experience.

There are the obvious things a newly published author encounters for the first time, such as ads/promotions, book signings, being asked to give “meet the author” presentations or writing workshops, and the wild-n-wacky world of book reviews and Amazon.com ratings. But it’s the more subtle, unexpected delights that have sparked the greatest intrigued for me this past month and kept me up way past my bedtime, Googling my name and book title… It’s been a kind of writer’s dessert tray: This opportunity to eavesdrop online (and, occasionally, in person) on discussions about The Author’s Intentions in Writing the Story.

Does anyone remember that scene from the film “Back to School” when Rodney Dangerfield’s character (a businessman/dad who’s trying out the college scene with his teenage son) has to write a paper for a college English class — specifically, on the novels of Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.? Being a man with more extensive financial resources than your typical undergrad, Dangerfield soon hires a string of professionals to help him with his schoolwork, and he gets Vonnegut himself (in a hilarious cameo appearance) to do that assignment. But when Dangerfield turns in the essay, his English professor is unimpressed. She fails him on it, knowing he didn’t write the paper, and adds, “I’ll tell you something else, whoever did write it doesn’t know the first thing about Kurt Vonnegut!”

I laughed at that scene, but I found myself wondering how often I’d gotten it wrong with authors I’ve read — attributing intentions to them that they never had. I’ve frequently wished for a chance to have a conversation with my favorite author, Jane Austen, so I could ask her about particular passages from her novels and hear the real reasons behind some of her narrative choices. On some of my online loops, there’s been much speculation as to what Jane meant by one sentence or another. Devoted readers have attempted to interpret sections of her novels, and they argue their viewpoints with vigor. But, while we may be amongst Jane’s biggest fans, none of us were privy to her creative process. There remains a delightful veil of mystery surrounding some of her authorial objectives, so scholars will always have much to debate about her work.

But, here’s the really funny thing I learned in the last several weeks: Even if Jane were around today and could tell us in great detail why she used a specific allusion or a certain storytelling motif, there would be some people who wouldn’t believe her!

Since my book has been released, I’ve had the rare thrill of coming upon online book reviews written with passionate responses to elements in my novel. It’s been fascinating to get to read varying points of view on my main character’s motivations, discover what readers think works or doesn’t in my plot structure, see comparisons of my secondary characters to persons real or fictional, and get predicitons about what happens after the novel ends, etc.

Only, sometimes, I find myself credited with having writerly intentions that I, uh…didn’t actually intend. At all. Never was this more apparent than in this recent phone call from Someone:

“You have a very interesting lead character,” Someone told me, “considering she’s insane.”

“What?!” I said, laughing because I was certain Someone was joking.

“Well, Ellie, your heroine — she hears voices, right?”

“Y-Yes…but that’s the twist in the premise. The hook of the story. My book is not a study on insanity. It’s a novel about a woman who has the ghost of Jane Austen in her head giving her dating advice.”

“Exactly,” Someone shot back — and not jokingly. “She’s hearing voices and making life decisions based on the answers. She’s clearly crazy. And I think it’s very brave of you to examine that.”

“Wha– No! I wasn’t being brave, I was being whimsical. This is a playful element in the book, not a literal one. A what-if kind of thing. Readers just need to suspend disbelief on this single point.”

“It’s okay, Marilyn. Relax. I really like the story just the way it is. I’ve already read it twice.”

“I — um, thanks, but listen — you should know my main character does NOT need psychiatric treatment. She’s just a normal young woman with this one little paranormal problem…”

“So, you’re saying she isn’t schizophrenic?”

“Right!”

“Only she is. One of the common symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia is when a patient suffers from hallucinatory voices that threaten or give commands.”

“Okay, but I’m telling you that’s not what I was intending for her when I wrote this…”

While I’ll admit to having been a little freaked out by this conversation (all one-and-a-half hours of it — yes, really), it did drive home the point that what authors write and deliver to the world of literature is not always what’s received. Once a book is “out there,” it no longer belongs just to the writer to interpret. Knowing this, I’m already anticipating the next such conversation with Someone (or Someone’s spouse), which may well focus on the Jane Austen side of the ghost-human relationship:

“So, your book starts out in the fall, just after Halloween, huh?”

“Yeah,” I’d say.

“And there’s a ghost in it. That one dead English author — Austen. Cool how you put those two things together.”

“Austen’s role as a ghost in the story doesn’t have anything to do with Halloween or its aftermath.”

“Sure it does! Look, you wrote on the very first page that it was ‘midweek, early November’ when Jane made her first comment. So, she had to have escaped from the Spirit World on All Hallow’s Eve, or on All Saints Day at the very latest. That’s obvious.”

Rubbing my forehead. “Trust me, there’s no connection.”

“No, Marilyn. I think you’re wrong…”

**If you could sit down over dinner/drinks/dessert and have a conversation with an author or two (living or dead) about their work, who would you ask to join you??**

Anyone who has known me for more than, oh, five minutes, knows that I’m a big geek girl when it comes to sci-fi shows and movies. I mourned the loss of Firefly when it was canceled before it even had a full season. Don’t even get me started on the powers that be who made that decision. SyFy is one of my favorite networks — home to Battlestar Galactica, the Stargate series, Warehouse 13 and Sanctuary. Even so, I hated when they canceled Stargate Atlantis after last season. But they got back on my good side with the new Stargate Universe (SGU), which is darker and more Battlestar Galactica-ish than SG-1 and Atlantis.

One of the tag lines for the show, spoken by Col. Everett Young, the ranking officer among the group that finds itself far, far from home, is “These are the wrong people in the wrong place at the wrong time.” What he’s referring to is the fact that an odd grouping of people find themselves aboard an Ancient ship billions of light years from Earth when they are attacked and have no choice but to escape through a Stargate (a stable wormhole, for the uninitiated). It shoots them out on a ship called the Destiny, and each week there is some new challenge to be overcome. But what did he mean by the wrong people?

Well, many of these people aren’t trained for a mission of this type. There are only two pilots among them — Young and Lt. Matthew Scott, who is very young for the amount of responsibility he suddenly has to shoulder, especially when they arrive on the Destiny and Young is badly injured. Then there’s Lt. Tamara Johansen, who literally isn’t supposed to be there. A medic, she was on the verge of leaving for medical school when the Icarus Base was attacked. Now she’s forced to become the chief medical officer on the Destiny without the appropriate training. Chloe Armstrong, an aide to her senator father, was just visiting Icarus when the attack came. She feels like she has nothing to contribute to the new situation since there’s not a lot of call for political aides. Add a bureaucrat, a math boy wonder who is there because of his video gaming success (trust me, it makes sense), a certifiable genius (played by the wonderful Robert Carlyle), and you have an interesting group of people flying through space on a ship they largely don’t understand.

Of course I like the show because it’s sci-fi, but it’s also the fish-out-of-water aspect that’s appealing. All of us who are writers have probably written such a story. Readers lap them up, and moviegoers seem to appreciate the story type as well. We like to see characters who are really out of their element find their way to success and happiness — whether that be a happily-ever-after love or a way back to Earth.

Anyone else here a big sci-fi fan? Are you watching SGU? What do you think? And if not, how about the fish out of water story? Do you like them? What’s your favorite?

Here’s a taste of what SGU has to offer.

HI all!  Connie Cox here!
I’m new to the blog.  Thanks to everyone for letting me play!  I want to blog today about a huge event that brought all of us together at Nobody Writers It Better.  We are all 2007 Golden Heart Contest finalists.  It’s a sisterhood I’m very proud of.  I’m a prodigal and have only been back in the fold for a few months, and already I’ve received all the camaraderie and support I could hope to find.

Want to know more about this Golden Heart thing?  Let’s start at the beginning.

What’s the Golden Heart® Contest?
Here’s official definition, from the Romance Writers of America’s website:  The purpose of the Golden Heart Contest is to promote excellence in the romance genre by recognizing outstanding romance manuscripts.

What do I get if I win?
Here’s the cool part–you don’t have to win to benefit from the Golden Heart Contest.

• First off, you need to have a complete manuscript to enter.  Right there, you’ve got incentive to finish the book.  A real deadline, testing your mettle as a pre-published, yet professional writer.  Are you up to the challenge?
• By entering, you’re joining a sisterhood of hundreds of other writers who take their work seriously.  Pssst.  If you’re not a member of Romance Writers of America (RWA), considering joining.  You’ll be glad you did.
• Should you become a finalist, a whole new dimension is opened to you.  First, there’s the special acknowledgment of RWA and all our members.  Then, there’s the parties at the Nationals Conference that make you feel like royalty.  And, perhaps the best part is adding Golden Heart Finalist to your signature line and agent/editor correspondence giving you instant prestige and credibility.

That’s for the finalists.  What about the winner?
The winner gets a very cool charm that is exclusive to Golden Heart winners.  But I’ll let you in on an insider secret.  From my experience, being a finalist gets you all the benefits except the charm.  The experts know that if you make the finals, your manuscript is outstanding.  Your peers who judged it said it was.  I’m a 2007 Golden Heart finalist and I’ve been able to take advantage of all the same benefits offered to my friend, a Golden Heart winner.

Incentive to complete and polish my manuscript; support and community with fellow writers just like me; a chance to have an extra nudge with agents and editors all sounds great!  How do I enter?

Click this link to check out the Golden Heart info on the official RWA website.

And best of luck!

PS  Will the Golden Heart help to sell your book?
Maybe.  Mine sold  the same week finalists were announced.  Pretty spooky coincidence, wouldn’t you say?  Check it out, Taking Flight by Connie Cox.

Taking Flight by Connie Cox

I seem to be surrounded by a lot of single dads lately. And the truth is, they are great fathers. For whatever reason, the mothers are MIA, and it doesn’t seem to be such a bad thing. Most mothers are protective, sometimes nurturing, and are the teachers of “how to be safe.” Which is probably why the mothers of all my adventurous heroines are good and dead. They definitely would have tried to hold back their daughters.

There is certainly no beating a great mom, but I think we’ve actually underestimated the value of fathers on children – especially on daughters.  

I interviewed a few of these single dads to ask them what they thought was the most important thing they gave their children. Here’s what I got back.

Faith – Fathers are best at instilling faith in children because the example of the strongest man they know, turning to or trusting in a higher being, seems to have more street cred with kids than when their mothers do it. (Personally I think this might be more important with boys.)

A Sense of Play – Mothers are bombarded with keeping the home running and while they might be good at scheduled play, AKA “Mommy and Me” classes, it’s often the fathers that bring spontaneous fun and laughter. Keep in mind, these are the same fathers who either didn’t want to grow up, or who always knew how to have fun, or who are just more laid back. They don’t sweat the small stuff. The fathers felt that they were more relaxed about letting their kids express themselves, or be silly. Plus, not many moms know how to make fart sounds with their hands, and are willing to entertain people doing it.  

Mental Toughness – While mom’s might tell a child it’s okay if they don’t want to do something because it’s too scary, or will gladly comfort a child over every bout of tears, dad’s are more “realistic” about life. There is no crying if you want to hang out with the big boys – unless there’s blood. Fathers are less accepting of tears, and for daughters this might be a good balance to have now and then, to teach them control and restraint of their emotions, and help them to deal with the “real world” when it’s time to step out alone. And all the fathers agree that no boy “comes of age” with a woman, no matter how great she is. She is not the example they want to emulate. (But with any luck, they will look for some of their mother’s qualities in a life partner.)

Self-Esteem – A good mother’s love is unconditional. A good father’s love is as well – but a father’s approval seems to be more highly valued by children. It might be that the fathers are not home enough to show it. Or because they don’t know how to express it. Or maybe they are careful about giving it. People smarter than me have likely tried to figure all this out. However, boys very much need their father’s approval and respect to develop their self-esteem. And girls need it even more, so that they think highly of themselves and realize they deserve more from men in their personal relationships. If their fathers don’t “like” them, they will look for love in all the wrong places and wrong ways. This attribute has really made me wonder…while we want both parents to love and respect their children so they grow up knowing they are worthy of good things, who would you pick if you could only have one? Who’s approval and respect is more important to a child’s development? I’m not sure that can be answered, since there are so many good moms. But I have seen what happens with woman who don’t get that from their dads, and it is detrimental. There is always a lack of self-esteem and confidence missing. So that makes me wonder something else. If a bad dad, is it better a dead dad? You know, not literally, just, is it better not to know him at all rather than be scarred or severely wounded by lack of love?

I’m not sure about any of these questions or answers but invite your thoughts. Look forward to hearing from you.

Trish Albright

I was working furiously at my desk when my husband decided to join me in my office. He sat down on the couch to read a political magazine and proceeded to comment on every article. I was about to tell him to leave when my cat/office-mate made an appearance.

Raja, my three-legged Bengal talks but at least he’s not annoying. Since we named him Raja meaning King, he took the moniker to heart and treats me and every other biped like lowly servants. He sat outside the gate (meant to keep dogs, kids, and husbands out) in the doorway, which he is more than capable of climbing over, belts out an order, and expects me to serve as doorman while I wait patiently until he sees fit to enter. This, I suppose, makes perfect sense to him. To me–not so much.

As my husband read, Raja took his throne–the couch–and made it known that he wasn’t thrilled with the company. That’s when Stephen, aka DH, asked, “What animal character is in your next book?” Huh? I didn’t have a furry character in my book. No wonder something seemed off. When he saw the look of shock and horror on my face, he quickly backpedaled. “You don’t have to have an animal side-kick in every book. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Yeah, right. It’s fine.

If you read Romeo, Romeo, the first book in my Domestic Gods Series, you probably remember Dave the dog. Dave was the male version of my late dog, Clancy–a 150-pound Black Lab, St. Bernard mix. Clancy was certain all three of my children were her puppies, and she treated them as such. She was known to clean them, scold them, and baby-sit. Dave was such a great character, he was mentioned in almost every review the book received and even receives fan mail. He might have been a dog, but he was a living, breathing, well-rounded character with his own character arc. Yes, you might think it’s insane, but Dave had his own arc and was pivotal to the plot.

Dave was also in Too Hot to Handle. He stayed with the heroine, Annabelle, while his parents, Rosalie and Nick, doggie-proofed the love-nest and honeymooned. Again, he seemed to steal almost every scene he was in.

In Breakfast in Bed, the third book in my Domestic Gods series, which comes out in December 2009, my heroine, Becca, owns a rescued cat she found lying injured on the side of the road. Becca took him to the Vet. He survived, unfortunately, one of his legs didn’t, so she named him Tripod. Okay, so sue me, Tripod is Raja with a name-change. I’ve believed for some time now that Raja was jealous because he didn’t have his own book. He is such a character; I only added one thing while putting him on the page. Tripod loves drinking coffee and Raja doesn’t. Okay, maybe it’s because he’s never been offered any. Everything else about Tripod is true of Raja including the missing leg and his penchant for popcorn, potato chips, and spumoni. Most of his antics were taken out of real life happenings, although I did leave out a few of his tricks like his predilection for flushing the toilet while you’re still on it. Although funny, there no way I want my readers picturing my H/H sitting on the porcelain throne. It’s just not sexy.

After my DH asked me about what animal character I was going to put in my fourth book, I gave myself a head slap. Luckily, it must have stirred something loose and an idea came to mind. Gina, the heroine of As Good as He Gets (working title) grew up knowing she had to be able to fit all her belongings in two suitcases and a backpack because she and her family often found themselves in the unenviable position of having to pack up everything in 10 minutes in the dark in order to skip-out on the rent. Gina has been a character in all three previous books and has finally earned her own Happily Ever After. After much thought, I found the perfect pet for her. Meet Jasmine – She’s a pointer mix I found running down the highway about three years ago and brought home. She was about 9 months old, emaciated, and scared to death. It was the last night of our local Fireman’s Carnival, replete with fireworks and the poor baby was so terrified; she shook like a leaf and shed what little fur she had left. Still to this day, whenever there’s a thunderstorm or fireworks she throws herself on top of me and vibrates with fear.

The thing that gets me about Jasmine is she’s such a little lady. She’s put on about 20 pounds since we adopted her but she’s still so delicate. When she lies down, she crosses her dainty little paws like the proper little lady. Still, when it comes to getting what she wants, she’s not averse to nipping my 120-pound yellow lab in the butt, sending him off crying to me, his mama. She’s a spunky little package of street smarts and naiveté, very much like Gina herself. They are both strays who grew up on the streets taking care of themselves and they have a very hard time trusting and depending upon anyone. I think they’ll make a perfect match. Just like Gina and her hero Ben. It’s going to be a fun ride.

So tell me, what are your favorite three or four-legged characters from books or movies?